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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23417332">Lie Lie Land</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbeerNotreallyAbeer/pseuds/AbeerNotreallyAbeer'>AbeerNotreallyAbeer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Free!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternative Universe -- Porn, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Behind the Scenes, Big Secrets, Dark Past, Diva - Freeform, Dubious Consent, Forced Oral Sex, Friendship, Haru's drop gorgeous, Haru's mother is cold, Haruka and Makoto are roomies, Locations, M/M, Makoto is a veterinary, Nagisa is a photographer, Painful Penetration, Panic Attacks, Porn With Plot, Porn actors, Prostitution, Rape/Non-con Elements, Redemption, Rin is mysterious, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Seijirou is a complete douche bag, Sex Worker, blowjob, buttplug, dark site of adult industry, metoo movement reference, porn shooting, pornstar, studio, tied up</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:01:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,933</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23417332</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbeerNotreallyAbeer/pseuds/AbeerNotreallyAbeer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Haruka really tried to find a job that is, let’s say, looked upon as decent and respectable. But why work hard at shitty minimum wage job and bring home 300 yen when he could simply strip to his birthday suit and blow his way to a 10 000 yen contract. He was never meant to serve people at McDonald's, he was told so, but rather serve himself as a sumptuous meal, ready to take, consume and eventually … defecate.</p><p>It was a meal after all.</p><p>A story about Haruka's bumpy journey, in a cruel world, to reconcile with himself, search for love, and find unfound happiness.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hazuki Nagisa/Nanase Haruka, Kirishima Natsuya/Nanase Haruka, Matsuoka Rin/Nanase Haruka, Nanase Haruka &amp; Nanase Haruka's Mother, Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto, Nanase Haruka/Yamazaki Sousuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The soon-to-be-twenty had always assumed it would only take one to love the conception of a job, to actually love the job. And boy how wrong he was. His grandmother’s wise words were ”Fun is fun until overdone” and Haruka’s recurring lower back pain and sore throat could only be an indicator of overdoing himself. He did not imagine his life to turn into a series of redundant patterns of aftermaths and post preparations sprinkled throughout his busy schedule. Chalked up on laziness, the young adult skipped the whole job-hunting. He had accepted the idea that life couldn’t give him good looks and brain at once, and he assumed he only needed to look good in order to survive this fucked-up world where doctors and engineers were paid so poorly.</p><p> </p><p>He really tried to find a job that is, let’s say, looked upon as decent and respectable. But why work hard at shitty minimum wage job and bring home 300 yen when he could simply strip to his birthday suit and blow his way to a 10 000 yen contract. He was never meant to serve people at McDonalds, he was told so, but rather serve himself as a sumptuous meal, ready to take, consume and eventually … defecate.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a meal after all.</p><p> </p><p>Still life was hard. There is this assumption that when paid generously, it became so easy and natural to hand over your body to half-strangers without facing the sheer anxiety of not knowing whether you’ll return in one piece or not. It’s was never easy . But greed drives a wedge through one’s common sense until it disintegrates and leaves you with one self-destructive motive that is doomed from the start. It makes you too bold for your own good, and you keep going forwards with cocky steps, ignoring the flashing signs. And suddenly, the forbidden becomes normality and everything you screamed “big no” at becomes commonplace.</p><p> </p><p>Today was the day Haruka turned 20. Although he was heading into his twenties, his face screamed 17, one of the few good things he inherited from his mother.</p><p> </p><p>Mother.</p><p> </p><p>The mere thought of her caused his face to twist in utter disgust.</p><p> </p><p> He splashed water across his face. God he looked worn out and glum. Birthday blues are real shit. Not even the 120-yen concealer could cover the dark circles that as though had permanently embedded themselves under his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Today could have been fun if he actually had someone with whom he could celebrate it.</p><p>Makoto had been very busy with his new job as a veterinary. His green-eyed childhood friend and roomie was a breathing and speaking teddybear. And because he was sweetness made flesh, he would surely bring him something cute as usual. But Haruka would rather be caught dead than ask him or anyone’s company on his 20th birthday night. Primarily all about pride and ego. But also because he swore to himself that this birthday wouldn’t be as gloomy as the previous ones. He had it all in a list; wear something sexy, go out, party and return home with good memories, so next year he wouldn’t be sulking in his bathroom and mourning his fading youth like an old spinster hitting her 50’s.</p><p> </p><p>That’s the mood.</p><p> </p><p>He sauntered his way to the guest room, preparing to leave for the nearest cash machine. He needed money for tonight’s adventure. He glanced over the vibrating cell phone sitting on the tatami. Haruka took a few steps forwards to check who was calling and he was already wearing the expression of a child who smelt his own fart.</p><p>Utterly grossed out.</p><p> </p><p>He picked the phone, feigned a yawn as he said “Sorry. I didn’t hear the phone ringing earlier …was sleeping”</p><p>“Alright lollipop. I need you to bring your perky peach to SINS building at midday sharp” putting emphasis on the last word in a commanding tone “The guy won’t be available next Wednesday,  and don’t roll your pretty eyes at me”</p><p>“I didn’t. It’s my birthday for God’s sake. You know that”</p><p>“Happy birthday lollipop. How old are you? Seven? Because that’s exactly the age of someone who’s ready to give up a blowjob worth 500 yens to blow two rows of heart-shaped candles” the voice roared out, causing Haruka to hold the phone few inches away from his ear “He’s 9 inches. It’s gonna take a while to prep myself”</p><p>“I never knew you a whiner. You have two hours to get yourself ready” and the line was interrupted.</p><p> Fuck.</p><p>That was totally a turnout of events. He was not physically ready. He hadn’t recovered yet from the rough treatment his hip joints had received from Asahi, the redhead beast who pounded into him in coboy position for 10 solid minutes. If it were not for his high natural mobility, he would have possibly wound up with serious abductor injury. Besides, Makoto wouldn’t be home before 7 p.m and there’s no way he liked to meet the Tachibana’s eyes after a long day of shooting, which were practically his most vulnerable moments. He would be able to see through him like the freaking psychic he was and Haruka would be brought to a loss of words as no liar was good enough to cover his deception under the scrutiny of Makoto’s disarming gaze.</p><p>He must never know about SINS.</p><p>Nobody must know about his filthy career.</p><p>It usually is these situations that reminded him how lucky he was to have a person like Nagisa in his life. He found himself dialling his number immediately. The blonde photograph could do with a bit of company tonight.</p><p>Beep Beep Beep</p><p>“Hi ”</p><p>“Hello ya! Ouch!!” he could imagine the short frame of the speaker twisting in pain “Fucking doorhandle. Well .. I was about to call you. 9 inches had schedule conflicts in the last minute. How unprofessional of him. So we’re preponing the shooting to today midday.” Nagisa chanted out in his bubbly voice.</p><p>“I got the information a couple of minutes ago. Can I crash in tonight? Makoto is coming early and I don’t wanna deal with his motherly interrogation” he barely finished the words when the other voice exploded in sudden blooms, damaging his eardrum beyond repair “Of course you can!! You need to see the new TV set. It’s GIGANTIC!!” </p><p>“Okay see you later then” before he could press the hung up button, Nagisa chimed up “Wait !! Haru !!!! I need you to hear me out for a second!” the shift of tone earned Haru’s undivided attention by the moment.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Okay. 9 inches. You heard the rumours about him right?” his voice dropped a few octaves lower than his usual candy-coated pitch. Haruka questioned “What rumours?”</p><p>He could hear the frustrated sigh on the other side. “There’s this magical website with a colourful logo where you can type the name of a celebrity and ..What the fuck Haru ! Tell me you didn’t even bother to google the dude?”</p><p>“Would you stop screaming, please? And yes I googled him of course. His name is Sousuke Yamazaki, 43 years old, power top, built up like some boxing champ, endowed with 9 inches as thick as a beer can and he did a couple of scenes with Takuma last months” the blue-eyed actor explained impassively as if reading a grocery list.</p><p>“Fantastic. You left out the part where his ex-boyfriend, who was his co-star, reported to Jezebels his inappropriate behaviour on set such as aggressiveness and abuse of power. So let it sink” the shared bit of information had Haru frown deeply. He dealt with crappy co-stars before and bratty starlets stomping on his pride. Working under stress was one of his virtues. This one should not be any different. After all, It was part of this job to tuck one’s ego away and accept the real possibilities of a roman shower.</p><p>“They could all be rumours. SINS wouldn’t put their reputation at stake by hiring a #metoo target”</p><p>“You never fail to show what a total newbie you are. You still didn’t get what this industry stands for. It’s not Hollywood where actors get cancelled for groping their co-star’s handbag. This is porn industry where everyone is paid to do morally questionable acts on screen, you think they fucking care about a porn actor’s complaint? “You asked for it and you deserve it”. That’s what hundreds of people wrote under his latest’s victim tweet.” As harsh as the words might sound, Nagisa was right. But still what was that supposed to mean?</p><p>“Do you want me to cancel everything or what? You know I might lose my job if I refuse collaboration with a top-notch star like Yamazaki”</p><p>“Of course not. Haru I know you are so chill and cool but if he ever provokes you, which is likely to happen, don’t fall into the bait. Your career is about to bloom and it’s gonna be thanks to that asshole whether you like or not, the guy gets paid six-fold your pay, don’t let him ruin this chance”</p><p>Another sigh, then a silent moment passed before he added, “you got me?”</p><p>“Gotcha”</p><p>“Alright, you can relax and do your stretching routine or whatever.”</p><p>Relax?? yeah...</p><p>
  <em>How am I supposed to relax after hearing this?</em>
</p><p>“See you later Nagi”</p><p>“See ya!!”</p><p>Haruka threw his phone no sooner had the line ended and, with one hand, pressed his fingers against his nose bridge. He should have known it was horrible to spend the last night rewatching his favourite anime. Now he’s dealing with the sleep deprivation that was threatening to crush his skull. 

He checked the clock. Already 10:25. God the things he would do to avoid going to the studio right now.</p><p>Slowly, he swaggered to his room, pulling the hidden buttplug and the lube bottle from the porcelain jar on the nightstand and positioned himself on the bed. There he lied on his stomach after having coated the plug with the water-based lube and began to press it gently against his entrance at a very slow pace. With his free left hand, he held his phone up, typed Sousuke Yamazaki on google image. The said stud’s smug face appeared on the screen. 

Well the guy had muscles. 

He scrolled down until he stopped at a pic where he showed off his 9 glorious inches.</p><p>Huge would be an understatement.</p><p>This is MONSTROUS.</p><p>Haruka swallowed as he imagined the kind of rectal athleticism his poor sphincter muscles were about to engage in with such monstrosity invading his ass. Guess It was never a good idea to drop “hardcore sex” off his no-list. But the audience wanted his likes to suffer to get off.</p><p>He went to Yamazaki’s channel and read the title of some of his videos that all included words like “brutally” and “roughly”. Impressive how his least viewed videos had over 2 million views. Haruka felt his hole pulsing around the butt plug that still lodged firmly in his arse. Four minutes of stretching and he felt more relaxed already, his breathing getting back to normal pace, until the doorbell rang.</p><p>“I’m not opening” he groaned inwardly.</p><p>With hindsight, he should have disabled the doorbell with all those door-to-door sellers pounding his door every day.</p><p>Haruka waited for the door to ring again and when it did not, he hoisted himself onto one elbow to open the drawer. It became a post-anal play habit for him to rinse his rectum, though he disliked the whole process of squirting water in. It’s like bottoming, minus the flesh.</p><p>He grabbed the whisper bidet and lifted his arse up to start the tedious endeavour.</p><p>A few minutes later, the doorbell chimed again. His relentless visitor couldn’t take a hint.</p><p>Haruka huffed and puffed before he removed the bidet. Hastily, he slipped into his jeans and threw on a plaid shirt. He stomped his way to the door, cursing under his breath, and with more force than necessary, he yanked it open.</p><p>“Yes”</p><p>The man before him stood tall, his hair a flamboyant red in contrast with his pale skin and Haruka didn’t want to imagine what would French kissing be like with those sharp teeth.</p><p>“I’m sorry to bother but” the stranger pulled out a blue hoodie from his bag “this must be yours. It landed on my balcony” he finished with a polite smile.</p><p>Haruka’s eyes fell on the folded piece of clothing, inked petals scattered on muscle forearm appeared in his line of vision. Lovely tattoo.</p><p>“Oh. That’s Makoto’s” he looked up to meet the redhead eyes, adding, “I’ll give it to him when he returns. Thank you” </p><p>“I saw you wearing it though, I mean that’s cute when two …well people exchange clothes” the corner of his lips switched into a lopsided smile, scarlet eyes glinting with apparent interest. Haruka’s forehead creased at the implication of this observation.</p><p>“We’re not together. He’s my friend” he did not know what brought him to share such unsolicited bit of information “Thank you” Haruka extended his hand to take the hoodie, suddenly remembering he had other things to do.</p><p>“You’re welcome. I ..” the guy lingered for two heartbeats before asking “I don’t know your name? I’m Rin Matsuoka”</p><p>For someone who kept studying his lips, the redhead sounded shy as he stammered over the words.</p><p>Haruka was used to have this effect on people. People flirting and courting.</p><p>Until they find out he fucks on screen.</p><p>“Haruka Nanase”</p><p>“Haruka” his brows drew together and Haru knew what the next line would be, some snarky comment about his name. “At least you won’t bully me for having a girly name. Um. Well. Have a nice day Haruka”</p><p>They looked at each other as if neither knew what to say before Haruka replied, as he took the hoodie “You too”</p><p>He waited until Rin spun around to leave before he shut the door in some confusion, taking a mental note of how long the awkward eye lock lasted.</p><p>He never saw this neighbour in his one year here in this building. Could he be new? because one could never possibly overlook that patch of red hair; it would stand out even in the dark.</p><p>He checked the wall lock that pointed to 11 A.M. Haruka only had 15 minutes to change, pack his lunch, and be off to set before the traffic gets really bad. That’s no way to start his day.</p><p>He strode to his room at a cartoonish pace to pick his phone, chestnut wig and cap, a disguising look he opted for every time he walked the few miles that separated the parking and the studio- Let’s say a simple confidentiality measure to make sure that no one under the Sun could see him walking into the infamous building.</p><p>It was just a shooting day.</p><p>He got used to having those knots clenching his stomach</p><p>He got used to worrying that someone would follow him and find out about his dirty line of career. </p><p>He took a deep breath and glanced over Makoto's hoodie. Then he started talking to it "I'm so sorry"</p><p>*<br/>
*<br/>
*<br/>
To be continued....</p><p>Stick and stones might break my bones<br/>
But comments and kudos do wonders to my hormones.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I just wanted this story to be an eye-opening experience on the porn industry and how things get done behind the scenes. I read a lot about the dark side of porn and how much it takes a toll on adult performers. Going back to our Haruka. The poor thing didn't know how life-changing his collaboration with Yamazaki was going to be and we're going to see if he's prepared for it or not.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Why do I need a script again?” Haruka rolled his eyes as he threw the paper onto the table.</p><p>“Because someone is paid to write this crap, somebody gotta read it.” Nitori said in a matter-of-fact, leaning onto the table to read the first two lines. “Punishment fucking”</p><p>“Yeah for stealing apples.” Haruka diverted his attention back to the script “hashtag spitting hashtag handcuffs hashtag deepthroating”</p><p>“Hashtag sore butt hashtag lumbar pain hashtag stubborn hickeys” the gray-haired laughed.</p><p>“I haven’t done any cardio or stretches. Am I being suicidal?”</p><p>“Sounds like someone wanna go back home crawling? What are you waiting for then?” Nitori interjected.  </p><p>“How much time is left?”</p><p>“Not much but I think that your buddy is late. I saw Sei bouncing with anger outside. His face is so red he might start firebreathing” chuckled Nitori.  </p><p> “Well serves him right for calling me only 90 minutes before shooting. He thinks I’m an ambulance. I didn’t even ….Oh shit” Haruka screeched out when he remembered the packed lunch he left on the counter.</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I forgot my lunch. Damn it” Haruka knew risks of starving were high when shooting in the afternoon and funny how a high profit company like SINS could not bother to provide snacks for their employees.  </p><p>His stomach, as if to validate his thoughts, grumbled loudly.</p><p>“Snap, I just ate mine. We could have shared it” Nitori urged apologetically before reaching to his bag “But I have an apple.”</p><p>“Cool. At least I wouldn’t be stealing any from Yamazaki’s garden” earning a chuckle from Nitori “I gotta go Haru. Duty’s calling”</p><p>“Good luck and thanks” Haruka rolled the apple between his hands in a thankful manner.</p><p>“You’re welcome”</p><p>Haruka was finally alone. He devoured the apple down to its core.</p><p>“mm” He groaned. He never thought he was that hungry.</p><p>Now what is left? Oh yeah! .. After quenching comes stretching.</p><p>He got into a lotus pose, on the floor, arms rested on his knees, and he took a deep breath so his chest was expanded fully. He closed eyes and thought about the good things that could come out of this collaboration.</p><p>“Hey Nanase! We’re starting in a minute” the door opened with a loud click, startling him from his serenity “Are you doing Yoga now?”</p><p>He could hear the fussing of people behind the door.</p><p>The big cookie was finally here.</p><p>Haruka came out of the dressing room in blue trainers, a red hoodie and baggy sweatpants. He saw a cluster of people buzzing around at the location shooting. In the middle stood a brawny, muscular stud, full six feet in height, and broad in proportion, making everyone around seem short in comparison. Two heads turned towards his direction when Haruka approached the group.</p><p>“Haruka. Here you are finally” Raved Seijerou, acting as if Haruka was the one coming late instead of the Yamazaki diva…and speaking of which. The latter was standing next to him, scoffing with a burgeoning ego at one of the Cameraman’s jokes. His thick brows and smug smirk crossing his muscular face gave him a predatory look Haruka couldn’t shake.</p><p>He never believed in first impressions. Never judge a book by its cover…they say. But this guy was giving off such an unmistakeably bad Aura, one might almost be sure that he carried bad intentions.</p><p>
  <em>I don’t like this guy. </em>
</p><p>Haruka thought.</p><p>“Finally here I am” he replied with false cheerfulness.</p><p>“Needless for me to introduce you to each other.” Sei jabbered as he rested a hand on his shoulder “Haruka Nanase. A rising star and my new muse”</p><p>A pair of saphir orbs, far too intense to meet, skimmed brazingly over him and Haruka couldn’t fight the shudder that travelled down his spine “I don’t get out of my way to request a collaboration with talentless people. Nice to meet you Nanase”</p><p>At hearing this, Haruka’s eyes widened a significant margin; matching Sei’s who gasped in simulated shock “Oh I thought the production arranged this”</p><p>The giant’s cocky smile broadened into a grin, gaze still fixed like beacons upon him “I like to support young talents” big hands dropped onto Haruka’s shoulder.</p><p>
  <em>What genes did he inherit to be this tall and muscular? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A Mammoths’? </em>
</p><p>“Thanks for believing in me” Haruka replied politely.</p><p>Then everyone withdrew to their spots, leaving the two actors a bit of privacy to familiarize with each other before jumping into shove-in mode. </p><p>“You’re quite for someone so vocal on camera” Haruka didn’t know what to reply this poor attempt at easing the awkwardness between the two “It’s part of being an actor” the words managed to elicit a chuckle from the porn star, who stared at him impishly, before stating with that trademark lecherous grin Haruka grew so fast accustomed to “I’ll make sure every vocal expression you’ll make today won’t be a “part of job” sound. I know how to turn an acting scene into a real-life experience”</p><p>Haruka’s breath hitched in his throat at the overconfident words. He lowered his eyes, long lashes cast a shadow across his smooth cheekbones. It was his turn now to charm the saphir-eyed hunk out of his wits “Looking forwards to it sensei”</p><p>“We’re 23 years apart, so call me daddy”</p><p>That was cringy. But Haruka took it with a sly smile.</p><p>“Alright boys. Let’s get down to work” Shouted Sei from his director’s seat.</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>Haruka was hanging off the fence, mentally calculating the distance he would have to jump, before flapping his arms and landed on the smooth lawn like a monkey. He glanced over the apple tree, turned to the left and right to make sure nobody was there, before grabbing the red fruit that dangled off one branch.</p><p>“Hey over there!” Haruka’s head whipped to the source of the roaring voice. Sousuke was hurtling to his direction, fingers scrunched into angry cannonballs.</p><p>As the script dictated and against all common sense and rationality, the thief froze up in shock, waiting to be captured by the house owner instead of running for his life. Sousuke hopped swiftly in front of Haruka who was stupidly holding his hands up in surrender.</p><p>“The fuck you think you’re doing in my property you little piece of shit !!!” he tackled Haruka by the collar and pushed him roughly against the fence, their faces mere inches apart “Tell me!!!”</p><p>Haruka was having tough time remembering his line with Sousuke’s bone crushing grip. He writhed his body beneath the sturdy figure and bawled in a small panicky voice “I landed on the wrong house. Please let me go!!” his hands flew to Sousuke wrists, trying to uselessly put them away despite knowing it was impossible. Those pair of ruthless turquoise peepers, which glared down at him the way a tiger glower over his hunt, trapped him in place and rendered Haru nearly speechless.</p><p>“I .. I” he stammered, his mind swirled into a vortex of blankness and Sei’s frown could be seen from here. The director leaned forwards, preparing to scream CUT when the dark-haired actor blurted “I am sorry. I was hungry and I I ssssaw… the apple tree” not sure whether he was still in character or not because he really couldn’t get the words right .</p><p>
  <em>What’s wrong with me?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Could it be hunger? </em>
</p><p>He chided himself.</p><p>By the time he had finished speaking, Sousuke brought him to his knees with a sharp jerk, not waiting for the shorter actor to say the next line, and he grabbed a fistful of his satiny hair, angling his head up. He watched him unwaveringly, his voice pitching down to a low threatening register “Oh? Hungry you said?”</p><p>“Please! Let me go!” winced Haruka as he reached up to the firm hand gripping his locks. He was sure as heck that this part of him being pulled backward by the hair was not mentioned whatsoever in the script.</p><p>
  <em>So much overshow of force for a man twice my height. </em>
</p><p>“Angh …” Haruka let out the most lecherous moan in his repertoire.</p><p>“I’m gonna help you quench your appetite with something tastier” he growled animalistically as he unzipped his pants and freed his enormous member that sprung proudly out “You won’t hope for more” He glared at Haruka, as if he could bully him into opening his mouth.</p><p>Haru focused on displaying resistance. He writhed and fidgeted, refusing to open his mouth. As the camera came close to his face to capture his contorted features, he felt a rough hand clutching his jaw until his lips were squeezed into an unattractive pout and it hurt like a mother tucker.</p><p>“Don’t!!” he grunted, his voice sounding stifled to his own ear.</p><p>Finally catching his breath when Sousuke released him, his vision flipped upside down and as if he weighed less than a skinned chicken, he found himself thrown on Yamazaki’s shoulder. Most of his simulated resistance from earlier seemed to peter out because Haruka was afraid of heights and being carried like that, head down and legs in the air, felt like someone was trying to scoop out his brains and eyeballs out of his skull.</p><p>So much manhandling was taking place.</p><p>
  <em>his co-star, reported to Jezebels his inappropriate behaviour on set such as aggressiveness and abuse of power.</em>
</p><p>Nagisa’s words echoed at the back of his head.</p><p>“Where are you taking me?”</p><p>“I’m keeping it a surprise”</p><p>Haruka knew where he was taking him, and he knew what would happen next. He read the script after all. But he couldn’t ignore those foreign sensations that had been flooding his mind and body. He couldn’t ignore the bass drum that was booming in my chest or the way his nerves were taut as the strings of a bow. His apprehension, against his usual chill mood, had risen like the mercury in a thermometer and it was not with repeating to himself “it’s just a normal shooting day” that he was going to force the butterflies in his stomach to ebb away.</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>They were in another room. Two Cameras were hovering at his face and one that peaked below from between Sousuke thighs. The two actors were both stark naked, save for a cluster of fluorescent beads braided on their backs. The older man was hitting the back of Haruka’s throat, using his belt to secure the bobbing head between his thighs by half-wrapping it around the neck. He just stood there momentarily to watch Haruka’s eyes tear up trying not to gag. It was undebatably the biggest cock he ever had the displeasure of sucking. It was as bulky and beefy as his owner, heavily veined, cut, the head wide and flaring beyond the shaft; the balls were enormous. Haruka was choking on the 5 inches of it already; making it all the more challenging to swallow the remaining 4 inches.</p><p>He groaned, pushing his head back for release but was quickly obstructed by a giant hand that was now latching itself to his dark locks. His hands were tied firmly behind his back, which was one of the many things Haruka hated about this scene. He hated restraints, to begin with. He hated wearing leggings, ties or anything constricting.</p><p>“You fucking cocksucker. Like what you eat huh??” Sousuke had a manic look in his eyes that succeeded to scare Haruka every time.</p><p>
  <em>This is was not going to be fun.</em>
</p><p>His shaft was pushing deeper and deeper into Haruka’s unwilling throat and he began to fuck his mouth.</p><p>
  <em>It was too much.</em>
</p><p>“You like my big fat cock, don’t you?”</p><p>Haruka couldn’t afford to roll his eyes at the silly dirty talk, he just flicked his teary eyes towards his unsympathetic orbs, trying to communicate his discomfort. Yamazaki seemed not to give a care with the arousing sight of his sperm dripping down the shorter man’s chin like melted cheese. </p><p>
  <em>It was really too much.</em>
</p><p>“anhjghhh” he groaned, feeling a cough tickling the back of his throat. He needed to breathe for fuck God’s sake. </p><p>The brute finally withdrew his dick and Haruka burst into a fit of coughing and wheezing, tears were prickling his eyes.</p><p>“CUT!!!!” Seijerou finally shouted.</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>What does it take to be a good porn actor? A good body? The willingness to fuck with strangers? Being good at sex?</p><p>The past one year and 4 months taught Haruka that being good was none of that crap. The industry accepts all shapes and heights. In fact, there are businesses that are based on each type of body. It was much more than getting laid in front of the Camera. It’s a complete cycle; Preparation, inaction and rest and it’s repeated all over again. It’s the immersion in the moment and the experience of being twisted into vulnerable positions in front of a bunch of cameramen hovering over your crotch and every intimate part of your body and still be able to get off and communicate that to the viewer. It’s feeling pleasure without resorting to ecstasy pills and herbs to get hard or taking tynol to survive pain-free penetrations. It’s stretching and pumping water for half an hour into your arse four times a week and risking your health, and life, to do your job to the desire quality level, and it’s never enough because the director will always find something to complain about. It’s receiving instructions and forced to do things no matter how health-threatening and absurd they sound.  It’s screwing when you’re angry, depressed, happy or even suicidal, because nobody gives a damn about what runs through your mind when you bend over in front of the camera. It’s pushing yourself to the limit and end up damaged and hurt without receiving the proper time to heal, because time is money and money is time.</p><p>It is fucking too much.</p><p>Too much.</p><p>“It’s too much” Haruka moaned as he bit into his swollen lip and looked back to the man who was spooning him from behind. He had an arm hooked under Haruka’s knee, lifting it all the way to his head until it connected with his ear, which elicited an appreciative hum from the older man at the ink-haired’s outstanding mobility.</p><p>“Fucking flexible .. can’t expect anything less from a cockslut” and he continued whispering profanity into his ear along with threats to destroy his little hole in about a few seconds. </p><p>Haruka could enjoy this. He once enjoyed being taken roughly, only they were alone in the room, he was not tied like a piece of meat, and the guy fingered him enough time to loosen him for the act. Three elements that could not be found in the present situation.</p><p>The tip of his throbbing dick pressed against his entrance. It could be his finger and Haruka wouldn’t even notice the difference. And in the midst of that, he moaned again, wishing he could scream “finger me” at the brute lying behind him.</p><p>Why couldn’t he just stick to the script?</p><p>And as if he knew what was going in Haruka’s mind, the pornstar wrapped a hand around Haruka’s dick and started stroking it to get him relaxed, because the boy was so tense he could crack nuts with his jaw.</p><p>“Anghh” he gronaed, still not getting why he wouldn’t finger him.</p><p>That hole won’t dilate itself!!!</p><p>Which made him think for one thing; the bastard wanted him to suffer.</p><p>Yamazaki sat up abruptly and positioned himself on top with both hands now anchored under Haruka’s knee in a G whiz position.</p><p>“I’ll fuck you so painfully the devil will weep” and he slapped his cheek with open end, leaving a red handpoint behind before he issued another warning “So don’t bother beg me to stop, because I won’t”</p><p>Haruka instinctively squirmed in the couch, his hands tugging at his restraints. He looked at the demon on top of him. It didn’t feel like he was acting. None of this blatant aggression could be acting.</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t get out of my way to request work with someone lacking talent. Nice to meet you Nanase”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know how to turn an acting scene into a real-life experience</em>
</p><p>Sousuke spat onto the hole, getting it moist.</p><p>“That’s your lube, consider it a gift from me” he laughed, evilly. </p><p>Haruka lifted his head to have a second look at the hard erection. It did not look slick- The motherfucker didn’t bother to slather a few drops of lube on his dick.</p><p>His dick began to enter the tight hole. The pain was quite intense and Haruka winged, tried to sound lewd. His eyes watering slightly, but the pain soon gave way to mild pleasure when Yamazaki stopped moving. The pornstar’s dark eyes cruised Haruka’s heaving chest, took a deep breath before nudging his cock two inches further. Holy fuck!</p><p>Haruka felt himself stretching at an alarming rate to accommodate the invasive size.</p><p>“So fucking big!” words escaping his mind as his mouth had a mind of its own as he pushed his head back.</p><p>The camera was zooming onto Haruka’s flushed hole that was getting wider now that Yamazaki pushed his dick further until it was half in, eliciting a cry from the restrained man.</p><p>Seijerou watched the whole thing with a broad grin “perfect” he said before shouting “CUT!”.</p><p>The two actors froze in place.</p><p>“Alright. We’re changing position in just 2 minutes. Yamazaki takes Haruka doggy style for 3 minutes, then cowboy and then we wrap up with full nelson.”</p><p>Haruka’s eyes balled into a pair of pool balls as soon as the word “full nelson” reached his ears. He did not sign for this and Seijerou had no right to change the scenario in the last minute without his consent.</p><p>“I’ve never done full nelson before” Haruka  spat.</p><p>Seijerou strode to where the two men were lying and urged “because you never had anyone capable of doing it without ending up falling flat on their ass. We have a pro today and consider it an opportunity to expand your Kama sutra” </p><p>“Don’t worry Nanase. I’m gonna take care of you” Mr muscle was giving him a gentle look that could not belong to someone who didn’t bother to lubricate his dick for the act. </p><p>Haruka found himself at loss of words. What does this supposed to mean? ..His brows knit in indignation, and opened his mouth to protest, but because he was already drained of energy, and mostly wanted to get down with this so fast, he found himself nodding reluctantly “Fine”.</p><p>Fuck you Seijerou.</p><p>3</p><p>2</p><p>1</p><p>Action!!!!!</p><p>Yamazaki as if in cue, started to pump his male tool in and out. Whereas Haruka tried his best not to tense up after Sei’s new reshuffle of positions. He had no fucking right! Sousuke picked up the pace, and the pumping morphed into pounding almost immediately. Haruka, who used to be half tense, was now as rigid as a slab of quick-dry cement. His toes curling up in agony. Pain sheeted through him with a terrible intensity, which felt like a sharp-toothed creature eating him from the inside.</p><p>“Nahh.. ahh ” his head pushed back, eyes squeezed shut.</p><p>The giant sex machine pushed himself even further, his cock disappearing into Haruka’s asshole. The cameras were capturing every motion from that angle. Slapping of skin and screaming filled the room.</p><p>“Plee.. aahh …eaas….ee” Haruka’s voice interspersed within a struggle to take in oxygen with the violent thrusts that were becoming franctic. He couldn’t even process the sheer force that had been tunnelled into him because this rhythm was not allowing him any time to breathe. All he could do was receive the destructive slaps of the phallus like the complete powerless ragdoll he was and continued to cry. </p><p>“You like it when I demolish your tight hole like that?”</p><p>*slap*slap*slap</p><p>“it …ahh…hurts”</p><p>
  <em>I know how to turn an acting scene into a real-life experience.</em>
</p><p>The skin to skin slapping lasted for a few minutes, or hours, not that he could even make a difference before the Saphir-eyed diva decided to stop. Haruka’s tears, unbeknownst to himself, fell down his face, obstructing his vision and stinging his cheeks.</p><p>“CUT!!”</p><p>Someone came to reposition the light kit next to Haruka's body that lied there like a limp noodle, breathless and shivering.</p><p>“You look so beautiful like that.” Sousuke let his finger brush against the puffy lids. ”Crying with pleasure”</p><p>“It is definitely not” Haruka’s tone came too harsh and before Yamazaki could take offense at it, he quickly added “it’s much more than that”</p><p>“Did it hurt?”</p><p>Yes, and you like it so fucking much like everyone else here.</p><p>“In a .. very good way” he lied, gasping the words between labored breaths.</p><p>Turquoise meet blue for a brief moment, a myriad of emotions came across from just staring at each other. Yamazaki opened his mouth to say something but got interrupted by Sei’s countdown.</p><p> </p><p>3</p><p>2</p><p>1</p><p> </p><p>“Action!”</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>*slap*slap*slap</p><p>He was hungry, and sore, and tired, and most importantly not enjoying this at all. A big hand wrapped around his neck to keep him glued to the broad chest as if he could escape the flesh wall towering behind him. He fucked him Doggystyle, and now that they’d slid into kneeling together position, Haruka got back to stage one, where he was grabbed by the hair and forced to look up.</p><p>“Have you ever been fucked by a fat dick like this?” and for once Yamazaki remembered his line.</p><p>“No” Haruka moaned back, his mouth one centimeter away from Sousuke’s.</p><p>“Have you ever been ravished rough like this?”</p><p>“No…I ..didn’t” Haruka opened his eyes to accept the sloppy kiss from behind, tongues clashed like rapiers short while.</p><p>“Have you ever been manhandled like this? “ and he tugged at his sticky raven locks, forcing Haruka’s neck to arch unnaturally “No..I .. Ah…Didn…ahh..it”</p><p>Thrust getting wilder. The effect of Viagra was still there. His head was released, only to have his nipples tackled by ravenous fingers. Another hand was stroking his dick, Haruka was going to cum at this rate.</p><p>“I’m …going to”</p><p>“Not yet” growled the pornstar before hooking two arms under Haruka’s leg and lifting him up in the air, his dick still connecting them, to slip into a full nelson.</p><p>Haruka’s heartbeat jumped to a ridiculous level, feeling every muscle fiber clenching in protest at the abrupt motion, and with acrobatic agility, Haruka’s legs twisted back until both of Yamazaki’s arms were locked behind his neck. His face was so close to his own dick and he could practically smell the semen oozing from his hole.</p><p>Still, in that extravagant position, Yamazaki braced himself on the couch, preparing for action. Haruka feeling his body aching in this uncomfortable position “Hurry up!!!” he whined impatiently, his bones could crack at any moment twisted like that.</p><p>And with that said, Yamazaki withdrew his dick a few centimeters and slammed it back, this time much deeper than before and began to screw him hard, causing Haruka to scream his heart out. His head wobbled like it was loosely attached to his neck, lips trembled, his feet shook involuntary with each vicious thrust. Sousuke was groaning like a wild beast, challenging gravity by hoisting Haruka’s entire body up in a boastful demonstration of strength, and slamming it back against his nine inches, earning a shocked “wow” from the everyone in the location setting and an inhuman cry from the Haruka who squealed like a woman going through labor.</p><p>“He’s a fucking beast” Seijerou muttered while watching the carnage taking place from the small screen before him.</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>Haruka’d legitimately lost his voice. His face muscles hurt from being contorted and his mouth was dry from having it open for so long. He was sitting on the floor between Sousuke’s spread thighs. The Cameraman squatted before him to film the money shoot.</p><p>“Drink my cum” with those words, Haruka knew they reached the end of the scene. The older man’s sperm exploded in a series of hot splatters into his windpipes and he swallowed every drop of it.</p><p>“Thank you for not calling the police. I had fun” said Haruka with a raspy voice, faking a satisfied smile.</p><p>“CUT!!!!”</p><p>*</p><p>*</p><p>*</p><p>He didn’t know how long he lay there, or maybe he knew, but time lost its meaning. Everything was meaningless. Like the fact he chose to stay in his dressing room, all sticky and cum-stained, instead of taking a hot back. And the way he accepted Seijirou’s congratulations with a handshake when he should be pounding his face with a bloody fist for giving him a fake script.</p><p>“Haruka. You’re sitting on my shirt”</p><p>Trapped in his thoughts, Haruka didn’t register Nitori’s presence “Yeah” he winced as he shifted to the other side, feeling a sheer pain searing his back. The gray-haired watched him worriedly before he leaned to take his shirt.</p><p>“Haruka”</p><p>“Mmm” he grunted, wishing to be left alone.</p><p>“You’re bleeding”</p><p>Haruka, at those words, slightly lifted his head up until his eyes landed on the scarlet drops that marred the white fabric.</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>-</p><p>To be continued</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wanna thank everyone who got out of his way to write a positive comment (or any comment). My English is not perfect -- It's my third language, and I'm trying my best to deliver decent work. </p><p>Kudos and Comments brighten my quarantine &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter is short but it is so far my favorite. Primarily because I like to write scenes that features Nagisa. He's my spirit animal &lt;3. The last chapter was painful to write and perhaps was as difficult to read. So I think this could be one of the reasons why it didn't receive as many comments as the first one. I'm not gonna lie to you, It is so underwhelming to wait for feedback just to receive none for a writer, but I'm going to complete this story because I like where it is going, and I'm quarantined so basically I have nothing else to do ^_^.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a moonless night and the room was beastly dark. Nagisa doubted his friend came in the first place but the dim light that filtered through the bathroom door was enough an indicator that the Mackerel lover was there.</p><p>“Haru! You’ll like what I brought for dinner” Although his words were met with long, stunned silence, the blonde-haired resumed with his announcement “Mackerel Pizza. It smells like you”</p><p>It was no strange that dialoguing with Haruka would quickly turn into monologue, he reminded himself as he strolled his way to the bathroom door and knocked twice. “Haruka. You’re here right?”</p><p>And there was that damn silence again.</p><p>He turned the doorknob and snarled “Haruka. Don’t scare me please you know I freak out so easily. The door is locked so open it”</p><p>“It’s not locked you dumbass” and with that Nagisa pushed the door open “Of course it is not. I was trying to make you talk” </p><p>Haruka’s body looked like the tiny uncluttered bathtub could swallow it. Foam enveloping him entirely, save his head. His eyes were half shut and they looked emptily at the tiled wall, completely devoid of expression.</p><p>“How was your day Haru-chan?” questioned Nagisa perkily, not allowing silence to enter the conversation.</p><p>“Stop calling me that” His voice had the pallid, toneless quality of his face.</p><p>Nagisa walked the few steps that separated the door from the bathtub and leaned onto it. “My house, my rules. I call you whatever I want and you are going to get up now. The water is getting cold” he dipped his finger “it’s fucking freezing!!” the blonde screamed exaggeratedly, desperate for a reaction from the stoic face.</p><p>It turned out it was not that stoic after all. Nagisa could see puffy eyes, red cheeks and a gloomy expression. Somebody had been crying their heart out. He extended his hand to burst one of the floating bubbles, thinking if it was unnecessary for him to ask the dark-haired whether it had something to do with Yamazaki, because he knew that talking with him was like walking on thin ice, and so he dropped the intention altogether.</p><p>“I had a terrible day at work too” his hand now played with Haruka’s wet locks. Before he could continue his fretful whining, the photograph was interrupted by a whimper. He lowered his eyes and they landed on Haruka’s long wet lashes that fluttered above his blank eyes. Sadness seemed to draw all of his features downward, and boy he looked crestfallen.</p><p>Nagisa’s touchy-feely self could not take the sight of a dispirited Haruka in his bathtub. And without much aforethought, he found himself circling his arms around Haruka’s upper body, bringing his head to his chest in a wholehearted embrace. He could feel his trembling body accepting the affectionate touch and the light kiss on his head. And suddenly The tears came forth like water from a dam, spilling down his face. Nagisa’s hug came like a sledgehammer against the walls Haruka was shielding himself with and at that moment, his vulnerability was rendered completely bare. He sobbed uncontrollably, shoulders shaking and tears flowing. Nagisa didn’t dare ask what was wrong with his friend, or maybe he knew.</p><p>“Does it have anything. ..” he cupped his face, forcing his blue eyes to meet his but the porn actor wasn’t willing to look at him.</p><p>“No”</p><p>“You can talk to me Haru” he grabbed his shoulders, “I tell you my secrets all the time”</p><p>“I’m going home” hissed Haruka as he reached to the towel, causing Nagisa to stand up straight in an attempt to stop him but the young photographer limbs froze in place at the sight of the deep rope marks around Haruka’s wrists. They were not the only ones because Haruka’s chest was a canvas of reddish-purple spots.</p><p>With wobbly steps, Haru stepped out of the bathtub dismissively after he’d wrapped a towel around his waist and surged forwards. Water dripping off the tips of his raven hair. He shuffled towards Nagisa’s bedroom, only before he could reach the door, his legs gave out and he fell in a messy heap onto the floor.</p><p>“Haruka!!” Nagisa charged to him, both hands flying to his shoulder protectively “Let me help you get inside the bed”</p><p>Haruka’s skin was chill as ice to the touch, bringing Nagisa to remove his jacket and put it on the trembling frame “There” the blonde hooked un arm under Haru’s and hoisted him up. They walked together the few steps that separated them from the bed before they both collapsed onto it. Haruka was breathing fast, body cold and skin ashen.</p><p>“Oh my god Haru!! How much time did you spend in the tub” he pressed his hand against the blue-eyed’s forehead. To his relief, His temperature was normal.</p><p>Thank God.</p><p>Nagisa pivoted on his heels at a comical pace and hurried to the pile of blankets that lied on the adjacent chair. Haruka was curled up like a headless worm, long legs connecting with his chin. He felt a heap of warm sheets fall on top of him. He opened his eyes and watched Nagisa rummaging through his drawer before coming up with clean pajamas.</p><p>Somehow, everything caused abeyant emotions to surge up and Haruka got suddenly so emotional at the sight of his panicking friend looking everywhere at a frantic pace ;and his eyes began to water again.</p><p>“I’m sorry” the words came out muffled and almost indecipherable.</p><p>“You’ll have done the same thing to me Haru.”</p><p> </p><p>That night they slept together in the same bed with both heads nuzzled against each other like pups. Nagisa watched the raven-haired sleeping soundly against his chest, guarding him like an irreplaceable artifact. It was a weird sensation the way seeing him furrowing and twitching in his sleep made his stomach wrench and his heart tighten. His long lashes still glistened with moist from crying and his dark hair stuck to his porcelain skin, making him look so innocent and young, which really reminded him how young Haruka was indeed.</p><p>God! time flies so fast.</p><p> Haruka was only 17 when he did his first nude shoot, barely 18 when he landed his first gig in SINS. And now at 20, a rising pornstar, dropping all boundaries and pushing himself to the point of collapse.</p><p>Distracted by his own racing thoughts, Nagisa’s hand moved through the lustrous dark strands to push the fringe out of the sleeping man’s eyes. He studied his peaceful face for a brief moment.</p><p>It was not a recent discovery that Haruka was a beauty to rival Aphrodite.</p><p>A big shame indeed that a fine gem like him ended up in the hands of Mikoshiba, and for that very reason, Nagisa felt it was his responsibility to protect him no matter what. After all, he had a hand in this. Haruka wouldn’t be this broken and scared if he hadn’t introduced him to Sasabe’s model agency, which led to Momo’s birthday party, whose older brother convinced him to join SINS.</p><p>Crushed by the ugly reality, Haruka’s suffering, as much as he tried to convince himself otherwise, was partly the fruit of his bad influence and it pained him to admit that to himself after all those years.</p><p>Yes. Haruka’s life was going downhill because Nagisa believed that ushering him into a modeling career would be the only way to save him from inevitable homelessness.</p><p>And with Yamazaki now being the new villain of the story, he couldn’t help shake off the unwanted images of Haruka’s body writhing in pain beneath that bulky body of his.</p><p>The mental visualization was unsettling, bringing a convulsing wave of dread.</p><p>He squeezed his eyes shut and forced his mind into sleep mode, for a busy day awaited him tomorrow and he really needed rest to prepare for it.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>A solitary ray of sunshine sneaked its way through the window to land on Haruka upper face and It tickled his eyes open to a slit. It took him a few breaths to realize he was not alone in the bed, for the annoying tendrils of hair that tickled his neck were a bit too coarse to be his own.</p><p>Coming fully awake, Haruka checked out the room where he became increasingly disappointed by his surroundings.</p><p>He was at Nagisa’s.</p><p>As if coming out from a deep slumber, his mind began to collect snippets of last night’s meltdown, which brought a familiar wave of despair and embarrassment.</p><p>“Rise and shine” Nagisa singsang, playfully poking Haruka’s rib.</p><p>Haruka turned around to meet Nagisa’s wide eyes. He blushed ruefully, as though caught in some misdemeanor “gmorning”. Then buried half of his face into the pillow, suddenly self-aware of the silly redness that stained his cheeks.</p><p>He cried like a piglet yesterday. How embarrassing it was.</p><p>“Happy birthday Haruka. You can open your present. It’s under the bed”</p><p>One half-lidded eye glanced at him, pupil dilated “ya’remembrd?” a muffled raspy voice spoke from under the fluffy pillow. With overloaded sweetness Nagisa’s voice was known for, he replied “I might as well forget my name”</p><p>Haruka reluctantly tore his body from the bed, his shirt slipping loose off his shoulder. Nagisa tried not to stare a lot at the purple hickey that peppered his slender neck and decided to keep them on Haruka’s eyes that were conveying a mixture of shame, sadness, and unconcealed gratefulness “Sorry” the apology came in a whisper.</p><p>“You know Haruka. You may consider me as a friend. I consider you like family.” </p><p>“You’re being sappy” he hummed with annoyance, though his poorly hidden shadow of a smile danced across his lips.</p><p>“Open it now”</p><p>“You didn’t have to bother yourself with that” and he dangled his hand off the bed to reach for the box.</p><p>“Shut up Nanase. You brought me a 2000 yen watch for my birthday” with those words, Nagisa pulled himself out of bed “Now I gotta go. Feel free to stay here for the rest of day if you want.”</p><p>It was already 9 a.m. The time Nagisa should be driving his car to work instead of strolling in just sweatpants and tank top across his flat. He strode his way to the bathroom, giggling inwardly as he imagined Haruka’s priceless reaction to his gift. He’d definitely like it.</p><p>The countdown in his mind began.</p><p>10 …9 …8…7…6…5….4..</p><p>A squeal ripped through the flat, which swiftly fell into silence, then he heard rushed footsteps drilling the corridor that were instantly followed by a loud bang on the bathroom door.</p><p>When Nagisa opened it, little did he expect to receive a bone-crushing hug from the birthday boy. He stumbled backward a few steps, almost breaking his ankle, and it felt like his small body disappeared around the long enveloping arms of Haruka.</p><p>“Oh look who’s being sappy now” his small arms circled around Haruka’s tiny waist “Haru you need to fill those ribs. I’m afraid you’ll disappear one of those days and I’ll have to search for you with a microscope”</p><p>“Shut up” he tittered before detangling his body from Nagisa’s, wearing his excitement on his face, eyes, and mouth and it unfolded him like a blooming flower</p><p>“You always wanted to see the Niagara Falls and I figured you could enjoy them with VR headsets” Nagisa paused for a moment to look at how funny his invigorated friend’s eyes sparkled like a pair of blue Sapphires “I promised to take you with me to Canada last month but the trip got canceled, so..”</p><p>He could not finish his words because Haruka was hugging him again, stronger and clingier this time. It looked like Nagisa should take the day off, for the adult actor was not willing to let him go.</p><p>“Never thought you to be a big cuddler. You used to slap me for touching the collar of your shirt” </p><p>The embrace extended for 30 seconds with no words, just two chests pressed together in the comfort of their arms, and it felt like neither intended to let go of the other until Haruka spoke “ It hurt so bad I had to ask a co-worker to ride me here. ” Nagisa remained silent against his curiosity, as he didn’t wish to interrupt whatever revelation his friend was about to make “It wasn’t my worst day at work but it felt like that. I wasn’t in the mood and he was so boastful and ... forceful“ Haruka went on, taking his time with each word “ Today the video would have been uploaded and viewed by thousands of people.” Haruka finished with a long tremulous sigh before unwrapping his arms from around Nagisa’s shoulder. His once chirpy face regained that hard expression from last night</p><p>“Please don’t watch it” his voice sounded unbelievably too calm for the amount of pain his eyes overcast.</p><p>Upon hearing this, Nagisa couldn’t keep a neutral face anymore. His features crumbled and he choked, feeling his air passageways close up “I’m so sorry”.</p><p>“I chose to be there. You don’t have to apologize for anything Nagi”</p><p>“You’re in pain and I feel so useless”</p><p>Nagisa genuinely wanted to help. Being this useless made him feel unworthy of this friendship and he couldn’t go beyond that thought. He really wanted to make his pain go away.</p><p>“But I feel good now. Thanks to you I’m happy” Haruka’s hand cupped the blonde’s face fondly “You’re making me breakfast, so you can’t be useless.” </p><p>They locked eyes and stared at each other until their mouths morphed into a lopsided smile as if a tacit suggestion to move on because drama hardly suited their usual frivolous interactions.</p><p> “Brat,” said Nagisa.</p><p>“Your brat”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The more comments you write, the faster I upload (I crossed my heart)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A familiar face is going to pop in this chapter and he's going to play an important role in Haruka's journey. I don't like to reveal that much in the summary. Enjoy reading &lt;3</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The cellphone vibrated its way to the edge and was neigh close to falling off the table when Seijirou decided to pick it up :</p><p> “Hello” he replied with his usual enthusiastic voice that only SINS employees could recognize as fake.</p><p>“It’s Haru”</p><p>« Oh » and the enthusiasm was gone. Haruka didn’t need to see his face to imagine the way Seijirou’s lips pursed like he’d been chewing a lemon rind.</p><p> “Stop calling me from different numbers !”</p><p>“This is my number”</p><p>“Well,” Haruka could hear him muttering something on the other side “ Okay... What is bothering our Diva?” There was a lot of noise in the background, making so hard to hear what he said and Haruka couldn’t help but ask “You’re not at SINS right?”</p><p>“No, I’m somewhere green and serene”</p><p>“I received a message from Yamazaki. We talked about shooting and all. He told me he had “full nelson” in his script, which obviously wasn’t mentioned in mine, among other things. Can you explain that?”</p><p>The silence dragged while Haruka waited for an answer “Hello?”</p><p>“It’s partly true. We added it a few minutes before shooting and it was his idea. I didn’t know you had a problem with that.” </p><p>“Oh, You also didn’t know I had a problem with spanking and hair-pulling?” Haruka’s tone grew an octave higher.</p><p>“Okay. So you want a punishment sex scene with hugs and pecks. I’ll make an order for that next time”</p><p>“Sei…All I’m asking for is trust and transparency. This was not the first time you alter the script behind my back”</p><p>“I picked you over hundreds of newbies to go with Yamazaki. How preposterous of you to fuss over petty details when you should be thanking me every morning, along with Buddha, for giving you this golden chance!! ”</p><p>“Guess what? I wasn’t ready for your golden chance. I bled like …some.. slaughtered .. rat.”</p><p>“That’s because you didn’t prep yourself up properly and it’s not the first time !” Seijirou began to sound too loud for Haruka’s liking, who retorted back “You just give one hour to prep up, dress up and all. Who do you think I am?”</p><p>“Your place is a stone’s throw from SINS. You could easily make it and it’s two hours !!”</p><p>Before their confrontation could turn into a screaming match, Haruka found himself hanging up on the director, and for a few seconds he kept twisting his pillow with antiquated obscenities springing from his lips.</p><p>“Fucking piece of shit!!!”</p><p>He cursed, sending his phone flying through the air, which thankfully went down with gravity on his bed and not on something else. Ever since he received that e-mail from Yamzaki, Haruka had been blowing a fuse. He couldn’t stop the molten anger in him, and this phone call had only added insult to injury.</p><p>A long, burdened sigh escape his mouth before he threw himself on the bouncy mattress to grab his phone, and with twitchy hands, he began to read the five-line e-mail again.</p><p>
  <em>“Good morning gorgeous. You left yesterday without saying good-bye, and I thought that maybe you were upset or something. </em>
  <em>You looked excited at the beginning of the shooting, to me at least, but I’m not stupid to not see the way you were at your wits’ end when Sei changed the scene. I had full nelson in my the script, which I’m willing to share with you if you want, and I don’t know if it was included in yours. I hope you’re doing fine…anyways… I’m looking forwards to our next collaboration.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sincerely</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sousuke Yamazaki”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“You motherfucker”</p><p>And before he could flood the room with another litany of curses, Haruka got cut by a cautious knock on the door.</p><p>“Yes Makoto” upon uttering the two words, the door opened and the tall brown-haired’s head peaked from it hesitantly “You didn’t come out of your room for like” he checked his watch “two hours and it got me worried”</p><p>Haruka flipped on his back to meet Makoto’s anxious eyes.</p><p>He never deserved to have such a sweet friend and nobody could convince him of otherwise.</p><p>“I took a nap, then the phone rang”</p><p>Makoto was still hovering at the door. Being unbearably courteous and polite, he waited there for unnecessary permission from his friend to come inside.</p><p>“Come in,” Haruka said and with that, the future veterinary walked the few steps that led to the bed, slightly frowning “You’re acting weird these days Haru. Are you seeing someone?”</p><p>“No mum. I’m virgin and chaste” Haruka wiggled his feet to get Makoto’s attention on his new socks.</p><p>“It’s good to see that you like them because you never wore the ones from Christmas”</p><p>“Because they were too big. You think everyone’s a giant Yeti like you”</p><p>Makoto’s eyes widened in a false protest before saying, “I almost forgot why I came here...Oh!  Someone with the name of Natsuya phoned me this morning, and because he thought I was you, he called me “babe” “</p><p>Natsuya?</p><p>It was quite hard for Haruka, if not impossible, to carry on with his usual indifferent behavior with Makoto’s eyes piercing a hole onto his forehead. Haruka sat up, dragged his eyes from his phone screen to the ceiling and rubbed at his chin “That’s my ex-roomie. He calls everyone babe. Such a weirdo” it was the best he could say to avoid a possible bombardment of questions “He insisted that you called him today because he misses you” Makoto still wearing his trademark puppy smile, sounding like a mum who’s proud to learn about her son’s secret boyfriend.</p><p>“I’ve just ended a phone call with him. He needed a place to crash in but thankfully he found another place to raid” lied Haruka, making a mental note to block Natsuya’s number from Makoto’s phone as soon as possible.</p><p>“Alright then. You look like you could do with a little bit of rest. Sleep well Haru-chan” he closed the door, leaving a confused Haruka wondering if that stupid Kirishima didn’t say anything weird because this whole exchange was poorly enacted and he sure made it so obvious to Makoto, who never stopped giving him suspicious looks, that he was hiding something and it was all written on his friend’s face.</p><p>He’d bet his damn toe that Makoto knew something he shouldn’t.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>The front door shut with a click.</p><p>2 p.m. The perfect time for Makoto’s daily jog around the park. Now that Haruka was alone, he couldn’t find a better time to make this phone call.</p><p> </p><p>Beep, beep, beep</p><p> </p><p>“Hello babe” a chanting voice echoed into his ear. </p><p>“Go fuck yourself” the three words exploded from Haru’s lips.</p><p>He was really pissed off.</p><p>“I’m sorry but you left me with no ..”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up. You think people are stupid like you or what?? ”</p><p>“You left me with no other choice but ..” Natsuya repeated again, lingering on each syllable.</p><p>“He doubts about something and it’s because of you and now ..”</p><p>“You left me with no other choice but to CALL HIM BECAUSE YOU NEVER PICK UP!!”</p><p>The abrupt change in voice tone managed to silence them both. Haruka took a deep breath to recollect his nerves, and so he resumed “Okay. What do you want?”</p><p>“I want you”</p><p>Haruka could not think of anyone more deserving of best nerve-burner award than this idiot. He could drive the wisest man mad.</p><p> “You’re a fucking moron you know that?”</p><p>“You’re so sexy when you swear you, hot dirty talker”</p><p>“Are you fucking serious?”</p><p>Haruka was so out of it. It took all his willpower not to hang up at that moment.</p><p>“Of course not. I need someone to beat on Super Mario and I’ve got this fine weed from Egypt. It’s called Hashish, and I have too much mackerel stored in the fridge. You don’t want it to go to waste. Come over man and let’s revive the old days”</p><p>“Don’t tell me you still have that mackerel stack from last year and If by old days you mean smoking and screwing at 4 a.m. NO!!!”</p><p>“I’m not averse to the idea but if you wanna keep it friendly it’s okay although I miss being sex-friendly with you” He could easily visualize him wiggling his brows in a ridiculous fashion.</p><p>“It’s my day off you know...”</p><p>“Stop being lazy and get your pretty ass over here. Wear something pretty okay”</p><p>“Goodbye Natsuya” Haruka was going to put an abrupt end to this call, his finger caressed the hang-up button.</p><p>“Hey you’re coming or what?!!!”</p><p>As if his mouth had a mind on its own, he found himself blurting “ Okay “.</p><p>“Coolness. Bye birdie !! I’ll be waiting for you”  the line was dead, and so was Haruka’s chance to fix this irreversible mistake.</p><p>What did he just do?</p><p>It was always like some sort of a mind spell or voodoo that enabled the brunet to remotely monitor people’s speech and made them agree on whatever stupid plans he proposed, and damned if he didn’t. Natsuya Kirishima could pretty much charm his way out of any tight corner and it never stopped to impress the young adult actor.</p><p>.<br/>
.<br/>
.</p><p>The hot bath seemed to do wonders to his back pain and Haruka did really feel better. 

He squeezed the last drop of foundation out of the Lancôme bottle, which was quite a hardship, considering how thin the tube looked, and began to apply it to the hickeys on his neck, at least to make them less noticeable. Though Natsuya would be more than understanding, as he was one of the few people, beside Nagisa, to know about his cock-riding career, it was rather the janitor and those snoopy neighbors he would bump into every day in the corridor that should not spot those scandalous marks on his body.</p><p>When Haruka was done with the tedious camouflage, he threw a black neck-turtle shirt on, slipped into blue jeans and white sneakers, and then he caught a final glance at himself in the mirror.</p><p><em>“Dashingly beautiful”</em> the words played in Natsuya’s playful voice in his head.</p><p>He didn’t see why he needed to look good for a Nintendo match. Haruka leaned onto the sink to get an eyeful of his own face. He pushed his bangs back and it startled him how matured he looked like that. Though not too obvious, his jawline appeared more prominent while his cheeks weren't as full as they used to.</p><p>He really lost weight. Or maybe it was part of aging up.</p><p>Ding Dong</p><p>Haruka grabbed his wallet and car key and made his way to the door. He opened it swiftly and dashed onward, but ended up banging his head out of nowhere. It suddenly collided with something – or someone, hard. The blunt force of the impact sending him staggering back a few steps as he clutched his head.</p><p>“What the hell !!” a strange voice, or maybe not, snarled up.</p><p>Haruka lifted his head, still rubbing the pain off his forehead “What are you doing here?”</p><p>He came face to face with his red-head neighbor who was wearing a matching stunned look of stupefaction “Shouldn’t you be looking in front of you when you run?”</p><p>“Shouldn’t you be loitering at your door instead of mine?” snapped Haruka.</p><p>His shock slid into disbelief before finally crashing into all-out indignation. The redhead suddenly lifted his arm, brandishing a pair of socks “That’s because they keep landing on my balcony and I’m not a thief” his face turning a furious shade of red, and Haruka couldn’t tell if the purple line that crossed his forehead was a bulging vein or one of his wayward strands of hair.</p><p>“And I’m sorry to bother” he thrust the socks into Haruka’s hand and span around to storm back to his door, which turned out to be right next to Haru’s.</p><p>He must be new here cause he swore he never saw him walking this corridor before.</p><p>“You’re new here right,” Haruka said, sounding apologetic “Ren?”</p><p>“It’s Rin” he puffed, visibly failing to find his keys and he kept thrusting his hand in the endless number of pockets of his leather jacket.</p><p>“Yes”</p><p>Haruka stood there for fleeting moments before he disappeared inside to throw the socks on the nearest table and remerged back “You were saying?”</p><p>“I said yes I am new..here”</p><p>Funny how he still could not find his keys when they were peaking out of his jeans back pocket and Haruka couldn’t decide whether to tell him or just mind his fucking business.</p><p>“Thanks …well I told myself the same thing.”</p><p>“You’re welcome” Rin forced the words as he  seethed with frustration, starting to reverse his pockets, letting different items falling out.</p><p>Instead of walking into the elevator, Haruka found himself strolling around, checking out from afar the enraged red-hair, before finally saying: “It’s in the back pocket of your jeans.”</p><p>Upon hearing the words, Rin froze for a moment, as if remembering he had back pockets in the first place, or maybe something else.</p><p>“Damn it” he muttered.</p><p>Haruka was inside the elevator now and he had pressed the ground floor button. The latter saw the red-head walking into his direction, as if absent-mindedly; and looking a bit off-track.</p><p>“Wait a second” he quizzed, eyes narrowed and wearing a perplexed look, bringing Haruka to pause the elevator door. Rin stepped in, his features still showing bewilderment and indecision and Haruka’s apprehension rose like a tidal wave.</p><p>Why does he look like he realized something important? Like the fact it was the 20th of April and not the first of January, or the striking resemblance of his neighbor with some porn actor.</p><p>“I was on my way out of the building….. I don’t know what brought me to search for the key and ….I shouldn’t be opening the door when I was … “ he went on, looking down confusingly.</p><p>“The bang must have caused visible damage. I’m sorry again” Haruka joked, feeling an unwanted heat around his collar.</p><p>He needed to get out of here so fast.</p><p>Rin was standing next to him, a bit too close for Haruka’s liking. He was clad in leather and seemed to only need a whip to look like a Catwoman cosplayer. His skull-shaped earring gave him a roguish look that oddly complimented his sharp features. Hair tied into a messy ponytail, inspiring a rockstar look with the swirly tattoo that peaked from his collar.</p><p>He was low-key the hottest guy to grace this building.</p><p>“Yeah, It must be.” He chuckled nervously “I swear I was going to give you those socks then take the elevator, like immediately,” he repeated again, this time looking intently into Haru’s eyes “You know when your mind leaves your body completely to its own device and then it starts acting on its own. That shit just happened to me”</p><p>“Absent-mindedness”</p><p>“Exactly”</p><p>Following the small exchange, the two men slipped into an uncomfortable silence. Haruka kept tapping his foot like a nervous rabbit. Seething with the urgency to leave before somebody’s memory decided to start working properly again.</p><p>As for Rin, he stared at the door with a frown, as if reading a cryptic message.</p><p>The elevator made a ringing sound when it slid open, and they both charged forwards at the same time, their shoulders rubbed roughly together until they ended up trapped at the small door. Haruka strived to shift to the other side to allow more space, his head now facing Rin, getting dangerously close; he could practically smell his aftershave, see the pores of his nose and feel his breath fanning across his own cheek.</p><p>When he felt himself leaning on instead of back, Haruka pushed his whole body backward. He was quite surprised to see Rin blushing hard and he only needed to take a fleeting glance at his own reflection on the side mirror of the elevator to see that the same shade of red that crept across the redhead’s cheeks was tainting his. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Rin said curtly, before stepping forwards.</p><p>Haruka watched him rushing to the front gate with firm steps. He stared for longer than he intended, heedless to the possibility that he might get caught gawking by the said man. He took a brief moment of meditation, which led him to one objective conclusion:</p><p>"This red-head has an amazing ass."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lack of feedback might give me a heart-attack<br/>Leave comments please T_T (and kudos)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This quarantine got me so bored. And because I write day and night, I told myself I'm gonna post a new chapter, because chapter 3 and 4 were meant to be one single chapter. I divided them into two when I thought it was a bit lengthy.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Haruka wondered if it is the Hashish effect or Natsuya’s hair looked oddly brighter to him. He could even spot a few strands of hair glistening gold in the flickering candlelight.   </p><p>“Your hair” he extended a lazy hand to the brownish locks “I like the new color”</p><p>Natsuya’s brows flew an inch upwards, then shook his hand, a long rolled joint trapped between his first two fingers “Sunny getaways got me those pretty natural highlights.”</p><p>“Mmm” Haru’s hand slid to the broad soap-coated shoulder before leaning back onto the bathtub “This hashish sucks” and he dipped the joint into the steamy water.</p><p>“Hey!! You’re sapping my savings”</p><p>“It’s crap-horse rolled in a paper”</p><p>“No, It is bonkers, and you look damn high to me” Natsuya finished with a long drag “and horny”</p><p>A wriggling toe brushed across his groin underwater, eliciting a choking sound from Haruka, who in return thrust his heel into between Natsuya’s toned legs until it nuzzled against his manhood. The latter straightened his back at the sudden contact, feigning a shocked expression before breaking into a broad impish smile "I’ll give you what you want lollipop, if you just let met finish this"


</p><p>“Where did you get this shit?” Haruka pointed to the floating joint as he pushed wet locks off his forehead.</p><p>“It was a birthday gift from a client”</p><p>The candlelight cast an olive sheen all around and Natsuya looked, under the wonderful shade of gold that glowed above his profile, exquisite. Haruka felt his cheeks warming up.</p><p> “You mean you rent your body for a pack of cheap Middle Eastern weed”</p><p>“At least I don’t return home with a sore ass and ugly bites. I’m fine with exotic gifts if the client is a babe” he puffed out, pointing at Haruka’s hickeys.</p><p>“Hit a nerve?”</p><p>“I’m not a butt-hurt like you, and I mean the literal sense of the word of course”</p><p>Haruka shot him a glare that could freeze hell “Stop acting like you never bottomed in your life. You’re an escort, not a host”</p><p>“That butt will stay virgin as long as I’m breathing and I’m both” </p><p>“Nobody’s gonna pay a yen to stare at your stupid face”</p><p>“I bet they would with my hand wrapped around their shaft” with that, Natsuya sat up abruptly, lifting Haruka’s knee abruptly until the dark-haired’s body slid down “What the …” before he could shout anything more, his head disappeared under the water, while his bottom was fully exposed to Natsuya, who was laughing hysterically.</p><p>The porn actor’s face quickly resurfaced as he gasped for air, hands still latching at the bathtub edge for dear life “Fuck you”. He didn’t know how and when he ended up swept onto Natsuya’s lap like he got pulled by an invisible rope. When he opened his eyes, his face was hovering over Natsu’s who didn’t wait for him to catch his breath to start working his hand down his back.</p><p>“Natsuya” Haruka moaned, cursing his damn talented finger.</p><p>“Happy birthday” Natsuya’s lips searing a line up to his ear before capturing his lips in a soft kiss, as if re-acquainting with each other. Haruka’s mind in a whirland, felt an odd nostalgia within him, and with desperate urgency he did not know he had a few seconds ago, he grabbed his face to deepen the kiss, which shortly turned into a heated make out, tongues wrestled lustfully in a pool of saliva.</p><p>He could feel Natsuya’s erection bumping his from underneath, steam clouding his senses to the point of not noticing the urgent finger nudging his entrance without warning. The unanticipated action caused Haruka’s eyes to wrench open and he broke the kiss, giving a tug at the Natsuya’s chocolate wet hair “No”</p><p>“I’ve got this Moroccan lube called Kherwaa” he explained between gasps “A pain-free anal is guaranteed” and he began to lick his way down Haruka’s collarbone, pushing his finger deeper.</p><p>“I’m sore… you know… shooting aftermaths” he tugged, this time harder, at his hair until the escort looked up “Then suck my dick”</p><p>.<br/>
.<br/>
.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t wanna bring a new roomie…I’m moving out anyways” Natsuya looked down, his fingers still carded into the jet-black hair of Haruka.</p><p>“You know I had …. Oh fuck those 18 months at SINS honed your skills in this department” the way Haruka swallowed Natsuya’s entire dick without gagging, while staring at him impassively under those impregnating half-shut eyes felt like a sexual assault. </p><p>“I swear you’re a rapist” the chocolate-haired breathed out huskily, his hand brushing a few bangs off his forehead as he watched the younger man pulling off of his dick with a pop “I’ve always been your sensei in this department” Haruka stated mockingly, before he started licking the base. Natsuya threw him an oh-really kind of look “Last time you could barely go beyond the tip with your stupid gag reflex” and he tightened his grip on Haruka’s hair “I am and I’ll always be your sensei” the harsh move earned him a deadly glare “Do this again and I’ll bite your dick off” Haruka snarled, lips brushing against the member around his hand. </p><p>“Better revise this attitude at work..I hope you don’t go around screaming and biting cocks off for the slightest form of manhandling..”</p><p>“You clearly don’t watch my videos”</p><p>“Of course I do..gnhh” and hit bit his lips, suppressing a moan, because Haruka had already shoved the dick back into his mouth and started sucking.</p><p>“You started off as a cutie-pie twink getting drilled by a horny senpai… Then…. they started to pair you with …. bulky old men,…. which is a good fapping material to be honest..” in a sinuous motion, Haruka kept on bobbing his head up and down, making all kinds of slurping sounds, and Natsuya was so close “, they’re leading you… at this rate and …with baby steps.. to your future gang-bang video”   </p><p>At that, the slurping reached an abrupt end, wide eyes flicked up to meet the brunet’s “what?” Natsuya winced out the words, visibly having a hard time delaying his ejaculation “Fuck ... I’m gonna cum” at hearing this, Haruka released his dick immediately, the escort groaned wildly as his seeds erupted from his member in long spurts, landing on the dark-haired slender neck.</p><p> “Before theorizing about my future, you should probably focus on your ailing career”</p><p>Haruka stood up to grab the discarded towel on the bed and began to walk towards the bathroom door.</p><p>“I am. That’s why I’m moving to America in two months”  </p><p>Before his hand could reach the doorknob, Haruka stopped dead in his track at the bit of news “Go where?” he turned around, not able to contain his shock. Natsuya was still standing in his spot, eyes anchored on where Haruka was seating “Well. My brother invited me to live with him in Seattle, and yoga instructors are making a revolution there.” He slowly diverted his gaze to the man opposite him “Like you said, I’m focusing on my career”</p><p>“You never took that shit seriously” the blue-eyed retorted back in an unwarranted offense, voice shaded with a tad of disappointment, and outrange.  </p><p>“I need to take it seriously because I can’t be an escort forever Haru” from the deeply confused look Haruka was wearing, Natsuya could feel that he was about to be laughed at, so he decided to explain further “ Not gonna lie to you, it was fun at first, probably the most lucrative occupation to survive a city like Tokyo. I was skint back then. But after graduation, my passion for sports grew so fast”</p><p>Haruka listened intently, with a solemn expression.</p><p>“And I realized that , unlike you who really enjoys what he does,  I’m not into escorting the way I used to”</p><p>“I don’t ” as if his lips moved on their accord, Haruka blurted out. His reply came as a thunderous announcement to both of them and they stared at each other with puzzled faces “since when?”</p><p>Without much thought, Haruka uttered “since ..a while”</p><p>“That’s awfully early”  </p><p>Natsuya had a hard look, as if not expecting this small revelation. A brief moment of silence followed. “You could always quit and do what you…”</p><p>“Quit to go back to escorting?”</p><p>“You can model. You are photogenic and gorgeous”</p><p>“You think my videos will be deleted if I do that crap” Another moment of silence passed. The atmosphere got so heavy in the room, rendering both men at a loss of words. </p><p>“You’re great at pretending to enjoy it anyways. I wish I could do the same. Lately, my clients began to notice my lack of enthusiasm”</p><p>“Well,” Haruka paused for a second to take a deep breath. He really was not prepared to approach this topic at all. Ending the conversation was the best thing to do “Good luck Natsuya”</p><p>Natsuya finally turned to meet Haruka’s eyes and he could not ignore the mixed emotions that filtered through the neutral composure he was failing to maintain.</p><p>Not even Haruka himself could understand why he was having this mini existential crisis.</p><p>Haruka did not know, or maybe he did. Maybe it baffled him that the guy who taught him every position in the Kamasutra was pursuing another line of career. One that required real skills and not just bending over and exerting yourself to the point of passing out for the entertainment of others. The lack of clarity of his own future despite doing what this guy thought was best for him gnawed at Haruka’s subconscious. He felt betrayed, and jealous.</p><p>How dared the man who roped him into escorting find an escape from it !
how hypocrite of him !

</p><p>“You too Haruka” Natsuya’s voice startled him awake from his inner thoughts. He dashed into the bathroom to hide the disheartened twist of his mouth before asking “Is this the reason why you called me?”</p><p>“No. It was to give you your birthday present”  </p><p>Haruka’s head reappeared from the bathroom door to ask again “is it another sex toy?”</p><p>“This year’s theme is pleasure, but not in that sense”</p><p>*</p><p>*</p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Anyone not knowing the labyrinthine roadway of Tokyo would have wound up completely lost. The traffic was so heavy on the road that connected the city centre to the suburbs, and Haruka had to inadvertently take a few wrong turns to escape the jam. Though despite his excellence at finding shortcuts, he ended up stuck in a swarm of car and with no way to navigate.</p><p>He found himself staring at the small velvet wrapped box placed on his car seat with curiosity longer than he should have. And with unceremonious abruptness, he tore the package open, a strong aroma of exotic flavors greeted his nose.</p><p>“Ajmal perfumes” he read with narrowed eyes then flipped the bottle to read scripture at the bottom “Musc Eau Natural {a botanical musk perfume} A lush and sensual, delicately balanced all botanical musk design. It's creamy, mildly animalistic, and interestingly vegetal, too. A true delicacy...Made in Saudi Arabia”</p><p>Oriental perfume.</p><p>The description befitted the exquisite scent beautifully. Haruka got distracted by the peculiar aroma until the honking of the cars joining together to form a noise knot. Only then did he realized the cars began to move forwards again. The nightmarish jam was finally over. </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>He decided to take the stairs because the elevator was broken again and the maintenance guy was fixing it; what he overhead from the conversation between the janitor and the old woman next door.  Haruka took his time with each step, moving slowly and gradually, for the interrogation that that awaited him was not something he was looking forwards to.</p><p>When he reached his apartment door, he could hear Makoto speaking, his voice paired with someone else’s, which got him really confused.</p><p>Who could it be?</p><p>Did Makoto bring someone?</p><p>The never received anyone at home, not even Nagisa.</p><p>He opened the door slowly and took a small peek inside, pending whether or not he should enter.</p><p>“Makoto!” he called out.</p><p>“Haru-chan you’ll not believe who’s here?”</p><p>Between coming in and running for the hills, Haruka chose to keep his bravado on and cast away the last shred of hesitation. With steady steps, he entered the apartment, only to find two men sitting in his sofa and for the first time of his life, Haruka was at a loss of words and, most importantly, at a loss of reaction. Shock descended upon him and settled between his ears like some ..glasses.  He literally did not know how to accept the reality of him being in the same room with Makoto and ..</p><p>“Yamazaki san has been waiting for you for more than twenty minutes,” Makoto spoke, looking clueless at why the room had completely fallen silent.</p><p>With both arms stretched over the headrest, Sousuke was sitting smugly on the couch, looking at him as if he owned the place. Haruka was choking up already from sharing oxygen with the bratty Diva. He froze in place, looking with bug-eyed, which might elevate to glaring if Makoto was not there.</p><p>What on the earth was he doing there?</p><p>“Hello Nanase”</p><p>That raspy voice, which Haruka thought he had finally forgotten, pierced through his ears like nails on a chalkboard.</p><p>Makotoa’s eyes ping-ponged between the two men, trying to read the tacit battle that was taking place. He didn’t even need his telepathy skills to know that Haruka was not excited whatsoever to see their guest.</p><p>“Hello... How did you know my place?” Haruka finally spoke, his tone mirroring what Makoto had speculated. </p><p> “You don’t answer your phone and I have your address. What more can I say?”</p><p>When Yamazaki stopped talking, Haruka knew he was in dire straits. He should not lead this conversation. Speaking meant revealing; revealing the slightest information about his parallel life could destroy everything he had built for the past two years. Yes. He was treading on dangerous ground. Besides, he had no idea what these two were talking about before he came. Sure they didn’t spend the last 20 minutes playing soduko.</p><p>How much information was disclosed? Many secrets could be easily uncovered when you put a celebrity like Yamazaki with anyone in the same room. He couldn’t control his facial features anymore, because they’re giving away his dilemma and Makoto must have caught every swallow, every drop of sweat from under his hooded eyes.</p><p>He fucking knows everything and he was probably waiting for Yamazaki to leave in order to skin him to his bones, and he would not even need his hands to do that. Just one judgmental look was enough to break Haruka into a thousand sobbing pieces. </p><p>“Don’t worry Haruka. He knows”</p><p>It became established that, at hearing those words, his lie was finally exposed and whatever Haruka wanted to say had died in his lips.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>4  comments and the next chapter will be uploaded iimmediately  &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Haruka found himself at a dead-end. This could be the end or the beginning of something he was not ready for. Read and comment.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(Those who are triggered by graphic scenes of anxiety attacks should brace themselves or simply not read. I've already added two tags for this chapter. )</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What do you mean he knows everything ?” Haruka asked Yamazaki with his brow arched in skepticism. No amount of effort of calmness could hide the mild vibration in his voice.</p><p>“Haru-chan you could have told me. I wouldn’t judge you”</p><p>Though Makoto’s frame was in the field of his vision, he couldn’t bring himself to look at him.</p><p>“I don’t get it” If this conversation was going to continue any longer, Haruka was likely to hyperventilate from the ambiguity of the situation.</p><p>“You didn’t want me to know that you quit your job, I can relate”</p><p>Huh?</p><p>Nobody in the room was helping him understand the situation, and he just spent the next several beats staring at Makoto with his mouth slightly open, wearing a stupid look on his face “Yamzaki-san told me how you quit your job without notice whatsoever, and he’s coming here with promising readjustments to make your workplace more .. favorable. He’s even offering a raise”</p><p>“Is he?” he shifted his gaze to his smug guest, who clearly enjoyed the confusion that he created.</p><p>“Yes. We wouldn’t find a better mural artist. If you have anything to complain about we can discuss it right now”</p><p>“I should probably leave you alone in this case” Makoto began to make his way to the shelf where he kept his door keys “I was going to the supermarket when Yamazaki-san knocked the door”</p><p>“Or we can take you on our way; Mr Nanase and I will find a nearby café to have a proper conversation”</p><p>“I prefer to stay here” with a cynical tone came the terse response from Haruka whose eyes were shooting daggers at Sousuke. At hearing his reply, Makoto took direction to the door, saying “Alright. Goodbye Mr. Yamazaki, and See you later Haru-chan”</p><p>“See you”</p><p>The click of the door was like a gunshot in the too-quiet room. As soon as the brunet left, the pornstar bounced from his seat.</p><p>“Haru-chan. Isn’t this adorable”</p><p>“What the hell are you doing in my place? And what’s with this mural painting crap?” Haruka thundered. Talking felt like a painful occurrence with the amount of tension that clamped around his jaw.</p><p>“I learnt a few things about you from different resources” Sousuke strolled around the room, taking in the surroundings with more attention “like the fact you used to work as a mural painter, your roomie not realizing his friend is about to become a household name in porn industry and how you want to keep your source of income secret no matter what” his roaming gaze stopped at Haruka’s perplexed scowl, before adding  “Don’t look at me like that. I’m no stalker. It’s Sei who overshares after two shots of Tequilla.”</p><p>Haruka’s scowl did not lessen even a bit, for it was not the response he expected to hear “You still didn’t answer my question”</p><p>“I’m sorry but nobody could reach you. You should check your phone, and that’s no way to talk to your future boss”</p><p>“Excuse me?” Sousuke blinked his eyes at how confrontational the young man sounded, before announcing curtly and without preamble “I bought SINS”</p><p>The words fell like a boulder in his reality, but Haruka pressed on regardless “you bought what?” eyes following Yamazaki’s movement in the room with utter confusion. The latter regained his seat, but his mischievous look never left him. He held his hand out in Haruka’s direction, beckoning him to sit down. Haruka followed suit, although still in a state of shock.</p><p>“It’s draining to be an adult actor for two decades. Soon there wouldn’t be enough Viagra and Antipex to maintain my erection throughout the still pictures, let alone the video making. I enjoy my job, but my health will always be my priority” He paused for effect, studying Haruka’s reactions “ Two years ago, I got into producing to make some extra dough, the year you got into porn. Sex is always better outside the four walls of the studios. I didn’t know I could be interested in anyone working in the adult industry, until I saw you at Takada’s Halloween party at SINS, I was an honored guest and you were the teen dressed as James Dean”</p><p>Haruka’s patience was running thin and Yamazaki’s ambiguous answers were not helping much. Thinking back to the people with whom he interacted with at that Halloween party, he couldn’t recall anyone with his name or features. That night was a blur in the darkest recesses of his mind. He was tipsy, and angry at something, or someone he tried to remember, but with no way around it, then it popped in his mind “You were Batman?”</p><p>“Yes, and I think the mask is the reason why you don’t remember my face. We talked about a bunch of things, like how art and porn are co-emergent” </p><p>It was pointless to force his brain to remember, so he made himself act like he did and nodded silently. “When you headed to the bathroom with a young hunk; I knew you hardly needed extra company. Although my mind was set on the desire to have you that night; I chose to let you go”</p><p>His face twisted in a horrible, never-changing leer, shooting him with a borderline lustful look that caused Haruka to shift uncomfortably in his seat.</p><p> “ You are awfully young and I couldn’t find a less awkward context to have you other than working with you.” He swept his tongue along the upper row of teeth, as if trying to look as predatory as he sounded. Haruka did not see this coming. He never liked to interact with his co-stars outside the few hours of shooting and never bothered to keep in touch with them. It was workplace and he hated mixing his personal life with business.</p><p>“You bou..” before Haruka could finish the words, Yamazaki swiftly commented “Oh no. I want you.YES, but not to the point of buying an indie production company for your pretty eyes. I’ve always wanted to own SINS. “ he crossed his legs and sighed “For the past two days. I realized the moment was not over, the want didn’t subside. I couldn’t stop thinking about having you again, and in a million different ways.”</p><p>Haruka couldn’t help feeling threatened by his nearness, as Sousuke kept leaned onto his side, causing Haruka to reposition himself farther away in a helpless attempt to increase personal space. The bastard had a strong presence to the extent of instilling fear just by staring. 

Haruka was suddenly aware of the fact they were alone in his apartment. If he wanted, the pornstar could easily crash him against the sofa with hands trapped behind his back and ravish him senseless. What reassured him was reminding himself that Makoto was there when he came. 

Someone at least knew about his whereabouts, a detail that should deter any questionable actions.</p><p>“You look pale. Are you alright?” he extended his hand to brush a strand of hair off Haruka’s eyes and the latter tensed up at the brief touch.</p><p>“All I’m telling you is being with me will offer your more growth opportunities than you’ll ever hope with anyone else. We both know that your contract is ending very soon, and well.. Spoilers: Takada is not envisaging renewing it”</p><p>Suddenly things began to make sense, at least from Haruka’s perspective.</p><p>“I’m offering you a new contract of 42 scenes if you consider it.”</p><p>“You bought SINS and you think I’ve got a chance to negotiate.” A smirk danced across Yamazaki’s lips at Haruka’s sarcastic reply “Of course you’ll always have a say in this.”</p><p>Haruka scoffed through a tight-lipped scowl “And end up jobless because you’ll just let me go without trashing me to every single producer in Japan if I say no?”</p><p>“Why would you say no? You’ll have your own dressing room, extra bucks from collaborations. Aren’t you sick of being an indie actor? Don’t you wanna have your own agent? Or you wanna spend your life as a stable, getting paid per scene? Bottoming because it’s more profiting when you get penetrated?”</p><p>“What’s the catch?” he asked, blue orbs locked with teal ones and without blinking once. Haruka’s eyes did not waver, and neither did the producer’s throughout the silent stare-off.</p><p>“I told you. You’re my inspiration” at that, Haruka couldn’t help but scoff incredulously again “ No you told me you wanted to fuck me in a million different ways”</p><p>“Quite inspirational if you think of it. I am grooming you into becoming a big name in the industry. Isn’t selfish of you to deny me a little bit of fun?” he inched forward in his seat and took his hand in his own, as if to distract him from the gravity of his intentions. Haruka tried a lot, fought a lot and he couldn’t keep his cool anymore. The hand contact was the final stray and he sprang from his seat in a defensive stance, snapping “By becoming your whore ?!!!”</p><p>And just when the man in question should be justifying himself under Haruka’s accusatory finger, he began to laugh, a loud, double-over, hysterical laugh. Haruka watched him laughing for a moment, which set him off into a range and his mind began to visualize all the toxic, horrible things he’d like to do to the person before him.</p><p>“Isn’t better than being Takada’s? “ the words came like a slap across the face and Haruka was dumbfounded at the abrupt shift in narrative.</p><p>Sousuke wiped a tear off his eyes, his chest heaving from laughter “I can tell from the stupor you’re in that my statement is true.”</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about”   </p><p>“I  bet you do. But all pretense aside, you know anyone is be a better replacement of Takada.” Haruka kept his composed demeanor against this wave of provocation, unwilling to acknowledge the taller man’s words. Sousuke finally rose up and began to walk towards Haruka “Rumors abound fast, but they’re not rumors after all“</p><p>He took another step “Still acting like you have no idea what I’m talking about”</p><p>Haruka’s glare didn’t waver, urging the new SINS owner to proceed “A green-walled room, the wooden divan on which he sprawled your trembling body, your hands kicking at his back but the scumbag wouldn’t slow down” he paused to appreciate the vortex of emotions slowly creeping into the neutral face “Who would have known he could be this violent in bed”.</p><p>Ten seconds passed, and then twenty and thirty, and finally snippets from Haruka’s past started to wash over him like a tide. Flashbacks of him roaming the streets of Tokyo penniless and scared, others of him begging to be left alone in the corner of an alley, followed by images of his body groped by vicious hands in a small hotel room, until graphic fragments of that night began to race through his mind. Haruka saw himself as Not just pain-tolerant, or pain-resistant—he was pain-defiant. Only this kind of emotional torture was surprisingly difficult to counter. It felt like every moment of desperation and fear he had gone through was experienced again, and his bitterness tasted sourer.</p><p> “How could he do something this horrible to you?” Sousuke said with false sympathy, his vicious hand descended to capture Haruka’s chin. He was tempted to dig further but finally stopped when he saw the tears welling in the younger man’s eyes when he knew he had reached the end of this mental torment. “Takada has got a decent collection and you are one of the stars of his sex tapes. If leaked, he’ll not only kiss SINS goodbye but will also face jail time for rape”</p><p>“Yet you aim to do worse” the black-haired finally sneered through wobbling lips, eyes blurred with tears “Worse is relative” Sousuke stated before he pressed a light kiss Haruka’s mouth. The coldness of his lips was tantamount to kissing a lifeless corpse. Sousuke couldn’t detect a speck of resistance or nervousness or any sort of human emotion, it seemed that Haruka finally knew he had no escape and he was ceding his body to the producer’s interest.</p><p>He broke the kiss, trailing down his jawline “Takada’s wife owns 30% of SINS, her husband sold half of his share under my threats to expose him, which I intend to do in case he doesn’t convince his wife to give up at least half of her share too. I might own only 35% of the company, but I have been granted absolute freedom to do anything I want”</p><p>“And what do you want from me?” the question brought Sousuke’s attention back on his face, and he smirked, his calloused thumb brushing against Haruka’s lips, outlining them lightly “To keep your mouth shut. I don’t wanna risk you exposing yourself in a desperate retaliation against Takada, because I know you’re prone to pull this stunt someday. I wanna be the one to crush him down and reap the aftermath, not anyone else.”</p><p>Haruka risked a peek at Sousuke’s icy orbs and felt tempted to ask what he wanted again because Sousuke could proceed with his plan to destroy Takada without his knowledge and nothing would change.</p><p>“It happened a year ago and nobody will believe me.”</p><p>“I don’t trust you.. Anyways. You’ll sign the contract. 1400 yen per scene. Tremendous isn’t? with only two scenes per week instead of four. As for the rest of the week, you can do whatever you want, like swimming, shopping, hanging out with your friends, or sucking my dick for a change. You are free.“</p><p>Free? What twisted mind could identify being a pawn in a game, a sex slave as a form of freedom?</p><p>His Mackerel and eggs breakfast roiled in his belly and at this rate, Haruka was going to vomit.</p><p> </p><p>“got it?” the words brushed against Haruka’s left ear menacingly and the latter remained silent.</p><p>“I said got it?” his tone grew intimidatingly more urgent, and Haruka couldn’t help but give an obliging nod, his fingers fiddled nervously with the hem of his shirt. “At least, can …” the words barely left Haruka’s mouth when the older man’s lips crashed against his in a smothering kiss. Haruka’s hands came to grip Sousuke’s shirt for support. He kept his lips sealed against the forceful pressure, the kiss got more insistent, sharp teeth began to nibble at his bottom lip until he yielded himself to the unsophisticated attack of Sousuke’s tongue.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Time was running so fast and Makoto should be revising for his exam tomorrow Instead of sauntering down the bustling avenues of the metropolis. But someone got to buy mackerel for dinner and Haruka had been awfully busy of late. He took the stairs, one at a time.  A certain gloomy feeling moving into his bones. He hadn’t visited his family for a while and he missed them more than he could imagine, especially Ren and Ran.</p><p>But this was not the only reason why he felt this tightness in his chest. It was Haruka. His roommate and longtime friend was hiding something from him, something he didn’t want to probe for some reason he couldn’t comprehend. He had known Haruka long enough to know that he was not a difficult guy to work with, yet he couldn’t keep a job for more than a month and it was always due to a low salary. Somehow, his new profession in mural painting was satisfactory and he could not shut up about how happy he was at work. But what Haruka said and what his eyes mirrored were two different things, and Yamazaki-san’s visit proved his hunch was correct for the zillionth time.</p><p> </p><p>Makota knew there was more than meet the eye about him. His motive was to reach a compromise, but why his body language and mannerism seemed more like he came to give ultimatums. Not to mention the way Haruka’s face turned ashen at his sight. It was easy to spot the layers of worry and fear clouding his face.  </p><p>So consumed in his thoughts, Makoto didn’t realize he had reached his apartment door. He inserted his key and opened it, calling “Haru-chan?”</p><p>The room was pitch dark, save for the golden glow emanating from the street light.</p><p>“Haruka?? Are you here??”</p><p>He turned on the light and started to make his way to the kitchen to put the shopping bag. There he found Haruka’s cellphone still on the counter.</p><p>Did he forget his phone? How unusual..</p><p> Makoto stared at it for a moment. The temptation was too strong. Maybe he’d find unanswered questions in his contact list or messages. He stood there, still, as some sort of inner battle waged inside of his mind before his curiosity got the better of him and he picked up the device.</p><p>“I’m sorry Haruka” he muttered to himself, his fingertips danced over the black screen.</p><p>Spying was against his ethics and not even his good intentions could make him feel better about invading his friend’s privacy. What was he doing? No. He couldn’t bring himself to do such a vile thing, so he placed the phone back on the table, and finally proceeded to leave.</p><p>All he had to do was trust his friend and pray that he was doing well.</p><p>He took his bag, where he put his books, the dolphin-shaped highlighters Haruka bought him for Christmas, and many pens, and rushed to the door. He’d made a habit to study in the library, somehow it brought focus like nothing else. Then it dawned on him that maybe it was a bit too late to catch the bus. He glanced at his wristwatch and gasped seeing he only had ten minutes to make it on time.</p><p>Makoto charged out of his apartment, not bothering to switch off the light. He walked the corridor and as he took the first turn, coming face to face with a red-hair and before he could bump into him, Makoto pushed himself sidewards to minimize the collision.</p><p>“I’m sorry!!” he apologized</p><p>“It’s okay” Rin replied, wearing a polite smile, and before he could resume walking, Makoto added “I wanna thank you Mr.matsuoka for returning my hoodie. I thought I’d lost it in the laundry.” and he bowed jerkily.</p><p>Rin bowed back, feeling a bit odd that his neighbor knew his name when he didn’t “You’re welcome”.</p><p>“Makoto Tachibana.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you Tachibana-san” he nodded courteously.</p><p>“Nice to meet you too. Have a nice day”</p><p>“You too”</p><p>And they parted way. Makoto walked the few steps that led to his door with a broad smile.</p><p>It should be illegal to be this hot. He thought to himself.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The cold breeze grazed his cheeks, feeling as if a knife was piercing him. But, rather than the pain, it was the icy coldness. He sat alone and utterly terrified in the darkness of his dingy balcony. His head rested on the hard, cold surface of the floor, puffs of warm breaths threading out of his wobbly lips. The state of raw abandonment he was in could swallow him alive. He hugged himself tightly and looked up at the starless sky, even the moon won't shine tonight.</p><p>His phone kept ringing for almost the entire afternoon. He couldn't bring himself to reply, not even to Makoto’s soothing voice calling his name, even though he wanted nothing more than to do so.</p><p>He didn’t want to be found, not like this at least, half-naked and broken. He allowed Nagiisa to see him once in his lowest moment, this mistake won’t be repeated again. All he had to do was sit and wait the pain out, pray for the medications to kick in. He could make it, he already made it before. Absorbing the trauma, swallowing the pain, then kicking his way slowly back to normal.</p><p> </p><p>But it was not working.</p><p> </p><p>His scars were not healing. It was so hard to wear a mask of coping and normality when he got violated on a daily basis. For the first time in years, Haruka felt threatened in his own home. Every time he thought to find another escape route, it turned out one into another different pain. It was as if the last shred of hope had shrunken away to leave him trapped in a cycle of disappointment.</p><p>What was he living for?</p><p> </p><p>Whom is he rooting for?</p><p> </p><p>Himself?</p><p> </p><p>He hated himself. He utterly loathed himself and wished that he could tear himself apart, the same way that he tore the curtains of his room. Every part of his deserved to be beaten and tortured. He was a piece of shit meant to be crushed down by privileged bullies and bitter souls.</p><p>Feeling riled up by his own mental rambling, Haruka rose up abruptly, the sharp sting of wind slicing through his exposed legs. Tension grew in his face and limbs, his mind replaying the last few hours. His breathing became more rapid, more difficult. In these moments before his personal hurricane, he understood the drug was useless; nothing can stop the primal surge to flee.</p><p>
  <em>Haruka?</em>
</p><p>His hand clasped at the balcony rail tightly and took in the view of the park. Wind blowing his hair in an infinite loop. He leaned onwards until his upper body was dangling precariously off the edge, arms awkwardly bent.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>Hey</em>
</p><p>…</p><p>
  <em>what are you doing?</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>Haruka felt his ribs heaving as if bound by ropes, straining to inflate his lungs. His head was a carousel of fears spinning out of control, each one pushing his mind into blackness. He wanted to run, to fly, to jump, and as if he was in some kind of mental free-fall, unable to analyze things or assess risk, he kept bending forwards, challenging gravity.</p><p>..</p><p>
  <em>Don’t!!</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>Hey !!!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Those voices wouldn’t stop ringing in his head. an equally ghostly hypodermic of adrenaline pierced his heart, unloading in an instant.</p><p>Leave me alone !!</p><p>...</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>STOP!!!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly his eyesight warped horribly, An invisible force pushed him back to his earlier position, his head banged against the hard surface with a loud thunk, sending new waves of pain throughout his limbs. He closed his eyes, body blocked by a heaviness that enveloped him entirely. His perception of time distorted, everything slowed down until it was all black.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Haruka</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Haruka</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Haruka</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What were you thinking about!!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’ve got you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It’s okay</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>It's alright</em>
</p><p>..</p><p>..</p><p>“Rin?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading &lt;3<br/>Kudos and comments<br/>I promised to upload the new chapter after 4 comments and I kept my promise.<br/>6 comments and the next chapter will be uploaded immediately.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>8. The end</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I know it's been awhile. I thought I was going to abandon the story, then my hunger for writing kicked in. </p><p> </p><p> Haru is about to make a big decision. ( I'm so bad at intros I know, I just hate to spoil things)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I got you...I got you ..I got you"</p><p>The words broke themselves into lengthy syllables as they bounced against his skull, expanding every crevice in his brain. They were meant to be reassuring, but everything coming out from the redhead's lips was a third-degree threat to Haru's diorientated mind. He closed his eyes for a few seconds only to be interrupted by his own intrusive thoughts. Voices prodding him to resume his task.</p><p>
  <em>Jump off!! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Get the fuck up and throw yourself in the air !! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It will free you !!</em>
</p><p>His feet, as if they had mind of their own, began to wiggle themselves free. Realizing that he couldn't move with the heaviness of the foreign body lying on top of him, he was suddenly self- aware of the unsought skin to skin contact. He heaved, slapping his palms with a sheer force against the redhead's chest in a franctic urgency, kicking the guy off his shoulder " Get away from me!!!" he pushed himself away, dread sprawled on his face like he'd witnessed a crime scene. </p><p>Rin clumsily landed on his left forearm. He pushed his bangs away from his squinting eyes and urged back, not bothering to sit up "I didn't mean to hurt you but you were..." he spouted, as if he was expecting to be interrupted, and as such, the words had barely reached his interlocutor's ears when the latter roared frightfully again "Get away from me I said!!!"</p><p>"I can.."</p><p>"I said GET AWAY FROM ME"</p><p>The redhead frowned at the absurdity of Haru's request as he was sitting two meters away from him, giving him enough personal space not to scream for more.</p><p>Rin knew he was witnessing a breakdown in all of its disconcerting forms "I'm sorry I ..." <br/>
Haru on the other hand was hyperventilating like a fish straight out of water and he knew it, all the signs were there. The profuse sweating , checked, the fallacious need to purge, checked, cold feet, dry throat, the tingling sensation in a limb recovering from numbness that never existed. Haru was having a panic attack paired with an additive anxiety from having a panic attack in the first place. An equation that had never failed to trigger an inevitable depressive episode. He breathed in, filling his lungs with oxygene that gushed in like steam of phosphoric acid through his pipes. He opened his mouth, and said with a (heart)breaking voice, musteeing up the barely energy he had "Get out .. please" he pled, his already ailing ego plummeted as dramatically as the way his self-hatred soared. He wished the floor would close up on him to hide from the redhead's unmistakably condescending look. </p><p><br/>
Yes. He was a half-naked trembling mess. An image that could be made into a portrait titled "the nadir of a man". </p><p>Rin could relate to whatever the noiret's was going through , urgency for space, fearing the exposure, dreading the pitiful look. Nobody wants to be caught in a vulnerable state like that. Rin felt equally uncomfortable at being then and there in the first place.</p><p>Motivated by Haru's momentary silence, he gave himself a second chance, this time he was going to make his efforts more extensive at winning his suicidal neighbor's trust. </p><p>"I'm leaving unless you give me a reason to leave. Show me that you don't need my company and I will disappear. I promise if you calm down, get inside and give me Tachibana's phone number. I will not outstay my welcome. " he stood up carefully, not breaking eye contact with Haru, who rolled himself into a human meatball at hearing his best friend's name.</p><p><br/>
"Trust me. I'm not here to hurt you. I jumped from my balcony because I thought you were going to throw yourself....I ..shit...are you hurt?" Rin stammered, doing his best to voice his genuine concern, yet his words seemed to only deepen the furrow between Haru's brows.</p><p>"Or you can let me stay until your roomate.... returns.... You don't need to talk, just come inside please it is very cold...okay?" Rin finally raised himself from the tiled floor, sporting a benignant smile as he beckoned to the door.</p><p>His rant was answered by a small nod and Rin couldn't be any prouder of his persuading skills. </p><p>He made a few steps forward to help Haru stand up, which was quite ambitious, and the latter tensed into a fighting stance, looking like he was preparing to throw a punch. Rin found himself retreating to his initial position.</p><p>" You're not wearing much. You will catch a cold you know" </p><p>An I-want-to-kill you-but-I-will-let-you-live sort of look was the only thing Rin got from Haru, which brought him to add " I'm a stranger and you don't feel safe around me. I get it. I just don't know how to prove to you that I intend no harm, at all"</p><p>"Why did you stop me?" </p><p>The question caused Rin to frown deeply, as if insulted by the the words "Why I wouldnt stop you?" He replied indignantly.</p><p>The noiret glanced at the few meters that separated them, his gaze never left the tealed floor as he scoffed " You would be the one throwing me off the balcony if you knew who I am" </p><p>And he pursed his lips bitterly, knowing that he bared himself further with those words.</p><p>"If I did what you were about to do every time my mind commended me to do so, I wouldn't be here right now. This is not the real you who is speaking, this is the..." "What do you know about me anyways??" His tone regained its typical hard edge, still breathless from the burning lump that embedded itself in his throat. "Or maybe you know" he muttered to himself and it suddenly came to Haru's mind the potentiality of his neighbor knowing his not-so-secret secret, the realization that he could be saved by a regular viewer of his porn was suddenly not so far-reaching . </p><p>Haru frowned in contemplation as he lifted himself, eyes still anchored to the floor. Rin's gaze wandered to the noiret's collarbone. The hickeys looked raw and nasty. He wouldn't call them lovebites when they looked like discolored bruises, or maybe they were.</p><p>"I don't know. I would so hate to see your life end this way. I have been there trust me. I was saved by someone that I will always owe my life to. So basically I'm showing my gratitude to the universe by doing the same" </p><p><br/>
Haruka gave himself a minute to digest the shift of events. This was not by no means what he had envisaged to do or hear. As if all the words of the universe were spoken, the two made a tacit agreement to stop the little chat, if it could qualify as one. </p><p><br/>
Heading to his living room, walking has never been this challenging. Haruka, exhausted and sore, dragged his feet slowly to the couch and slumped there, delving into the the comfort of the cushions. If only he could delve for real and disappear off the face of Earth.</p><p>Clic clac .. He would jump at the clatter of the dishes made by his unwelcomed guest-slash-savior in the kitchen. He was all jumpy and jittery and God, why was the other making all this noise. </p><p>The room was a freezing cubicle. His nose itched like he sniffed a bag of pollen . Quite odd how he felt cold now that he was inside . Haru reached for a discarded blanket, wincing at the stretch of muscles. He was as rigid as ice, half thinking he should just lie back and freeze to death, because his temperature was below the averge thermal comfort level. </p><p>Slowly he felt his lids pulled down, drug-induced sleep preparing to engulf him and he welcomed it in surrender like it was the most thing he needed in life. </p><p> </p><p>Xxxxxxx</p><p> </p><p>He walked the steps by two, then by four. He didn't know how he got so fast or how he was able to do it, but he was doing it and it didn't matter, as long as he was away from the hideous dog that stood at the building door. It didn't make sense. He loved dogs, but that one had four eyes and drooled some green fluid. </p><p>He staggred through the last steps and found himself dwindling into the elevator. The door closed behind and he got immediately pressed against a wall. He was alone a second ago. And now someone was behind him, whispering his name, telling him to stop fidgeting because that was no way to treat family. </p><p>
  <em>Mom. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes it is me </em>
</p><p>She crushed him into a wholehearted embrace, almost as warm as his grandmother's curling arms. </p><p><br/>
<em>I miss you</em>
</p><p><br/>
He didn't hug her back fearing the rejection all of a sudden. Hands were scratching his back, then crawling down his behind. And She slowly slid further, reaching a place she should not come near to.</p><p><br/>
Haruka writhed franctically at the intrusive touch, his displeasure cruntching his features and could hardly breathe with the the second had that latched itself forcefully around his neck. He looked up to face his assaulter who was uncharacteristically taller and bigger. Those blue eyes could freeze a volcano, and they belonged to a certain bulky man who had been terroyzing his life for the past week.</p><p>"Sousuke" he croaked painfully. The said man's manhood was inside him already, not knowing when and how he consented to be in this compromising position. The blinding flashlights sparkled from the four corners of room like an artificial sun and Haruka was in all four, on a bed, surrounded by the lenses of different sizes of cameras. Seijeru was sitting next to an array of technicians like a jury then the shooting room erupted with apolause.</p><p>His eyes had somehow chosen that moment to snap open, his shirt clung to his skin like a glaze of frozen sudor. He was drenched in sweat. The whole area where he was lying was damp, turning a few shades darker as if water was poured on the shabby couch. </p><p>He was still bare-chested and hardly had he lowered the cover a few inches down when he got slapped by the slicing coldness of the room. </p><p>"Finally up." Rin was standing by the door, holding a plate and a bottle of water "You are a heavy sleeper aren't you. I was going to check your pulse" he walked to the small table, eyes pingponging between Haru and the the dish, as if hesitant to speak, or about to say something that might upset the pornstar "I work at night. I'm a bartender, if you want to know, and I'm afraid I can leave now" Why was he acting so apologetic. Haru wondered as he watched him in perplex, not seeing why the guy chose to spend more than four hours idling in his living room when he had better things to do. Again, the selflessness of this Matsuoka baffled him in so many ways he might think the guy was paid to do all that.</p><p>"You can leave. I'm totally fine thank you" Haru couldn't unlock his eyes from the tasty smelling miso soup that begged him for sip. He was hungry and oddly .. safe. </p><p>"But I can't leave you alone"<br/>
"I'm not going to hurt myself Matsuoka. I never intended to. I was a bit stoned earlier. I smoked some shitty oriental Hashish that messed with my senses like any potent weed would do and it made me say things I didn't mean. You were right, I wasn't myself, I was a high and gloomy bundle of emotions failing to cope with the sideeffects of a cheap psychoactive drug." And at hearing those words Rin couldn't help but scoff at how propesterous they sounded "You want me to leave so badly do you. I get it. But Weed doesn't make people cry in their sleep" Haruka's hand instinctively flew to his cheek, they were slightly damp, and clearly not from drooling. </p><p>"And I cannot believe those bruises are from this Hachich" Rin rubbed at his collarbone and Haru mimicked the gesture, running his digit across the marred skin before he pulled the cover up to his neck defensively, suddenly self-aware of his nudity "Thank you for the meal and sorry for the trouble" Haru finally found the courage to thank the man, because deep down and behind the aloof facade, he was glad the redhead did what he did. He was in a dark place and being knocked down to the floor seemed to bring him back to reality. </p><p>Rin was taking his phone from the kitchen stool and preparing to leave when he heard the noiret muttering "Good night".</p><p>"Good night to you too" and the door shut slowly. Haru gazed at the meal, feeling overwhelmed by a plethora of mixed feelings coursing through him . His memory began to shoot him with raw images of his terrible afternoon. He could smell his cologne on his skin, feel his rough fingers curling viciously around his wrists, razor teeth etching vicious mark onto his skin, droplet of sweat and tears burning his eyes to a squint. It was one of the most atrocious experiences one could ever experience in the safety of their home. His apartment was the only place where he could forget about his notorious job, with Makoto around, the last trace of purity left in his dirty world, he could be that innocent child again who liked to sketch his favourite Anime characters in his notebook, without a care of the world. He was robbed of his sanctuary. This house now reeked of sex and no amount of good memories can purge it. </p><p>This was not the first time. He reminded himself. This was absolutely not his first forced sex. He should get used to it at this point. But he wouldn't.</p><p>He needed to end this horrible day with a soothing bath and a wise decision, to collect the shreds of what is left valuable in his life and move on.</p><p>Xxxxxx</p><p>Rin entered his apartment, his eyes meeting his roomate inquisitive look "What?"<br/>
"How did you get out of here?"</p><p>"Nitori I was never here" he walked past him to grabbhis keys "Then where are your shoes?"</p><p>Rin couldn't think of any alibi under the scrunity of the shorter man "I heard a scream coming from the flat next door and I thought someone got stabbed, I slipped into spiderman mode and ended up hurtling myself onto their balcony, turned out someone liked to watch their horror movies really loud"</p><p>Unbelievably as it may sound, Nitori seemed to buy into the lame story, scoffing "Your chivalry's gonna be the end of you one day very soon" </p><p>"Not all heroes wear caps" Rin jabbed as he slid his foot into the sneaker.</p><p> </p><p>Xxxxxx</p><p> </p><p>His phone vibrated its way to the edge of the table. Haru was not going to answer. He didn't feel like talking to anyone. He glared at the gadjet, waiting for the buzzing sound to stop, and it never did, because whoever was calling knew about his tendancy to treat his phone like an infectious pandamic and would take ages to answer. </p><p>He slid into a fresh clean T-shirt after a long refreshing bath and glanced at his phone, cringing at the sight of the familiar number, it was Sousuke's. He found himself picking up, mot bothering to say hello as he blurted our "I quit".</p><p>"<em>What? Haruka where are you?"</em></p><p>"I said I quit. I don't wanna go back to SINS, my contract has reached its end and I don't intend to renew it. Good bye" he announced curtly before hanging up on him, and at that he was  swept by a peculiar sense of contentment, perhaps it was peace ...or freedom. Yes. Haru felt free for the first time in ages.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Looking forwards to your feedback</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>9. Flashbacks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rin looking back on the first time he met Haruka.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The intensity of the pink and blue Leds were eye-piercing and they clashed in a lightening flash, red mixing with green, blue blending with yellow. It was a bold canvas of the contemporary nightlife. Lonely gay people coming from every corner of tokyo to celebrate whatever there is to celebrate. This is not a bar where people drink their sorrow away, or meet the fuck of their week. This was a haven for rich, old sugar daddies sucking the life out of pretty youth. This job paid well but not well enough to make Rin love it. It is so draining to be a barrista. To prepare the drink the customer wants with a wide forced smile, looking borderline manic. To listen to their rants and laugh at their sloppiest drug-induced compliments. It is even harder when you work in a gay bar and you are already gay and everybody knows it. The deadly combo. You are a target to all sorts of cat calling and shady offers. Having his own share with sloshed creeps , old boozers so drunk they start acting sober again and you have to put with the randomness of their orders, like someone once asked for a Vodka and Fristi. Who would drink alcohol with yogurt anyways?</p><p> </p><p>"You there" someone slurred out, bringing Rin to look up .</p><p>"Yes." He was already cringing. This guy is shit-faced, he could barely stand still. </p><p> </p><p>Pretty face though. solid 9.</p><p> </p><p>"DO YOU HEAR ME?" he yelled, rubbing his eyes. They were a distracting shade of blue. Rin's interest piqued.</p><p> </p><p>Shit he had an embarassing weakness for blue eyes.</p><p>"YES?" Rin repeated again, his eyes wandering to the half-bare chest before him. Someone was in a rush while unbuttoning this shirt because it looked like it was ripped open.</p><p> </p><p>"I cut it" the hotty spoke, sounding disoriented and unsure of his own words. Rin thought he misheard him and leaned across the counter " You were saying?" Hazy eyes flickered up to him then they dropped down as if to show the best angle of his thick, fluffy lashes -  Those lashes were so long they seemed to tangle in places and he yelled again " I cut my finger" trying to make himself audible over the strident music.</p><p> </p><p>Rin looked down to see his hand. It looked fine, not even a scratch there. "There is nothing wrong with you finger" the words seemed to resonate in the attractive stranger's head because he was frowning now, as if his mind finally reconnected with the last shred of common sense left there. Looking so caught up in his own thoughts, he scratched his jet-black hair and croaked something, still rocking back and forth before saying the most absurd line "I will lick it then" and he shoved his finger into the half shut mouth, all the way inside, eyes never leaving Rin's, whose jaw almost dropped at the intensity of the look.</p><p>The man was sucking his middle finger, never breaking eye-contact and wait. Is that a tongue piercing. Rin felt so uncomfortable, the gasp promptly sent him into a fit of coughing and he felt throttled by the viscosity of his own saliva, his cheeks burnt from the unexpected erotic action and coughing seemed to make it look even worse.</p><p>What was that about?</p><p>The blue-eyed tease removed the finger slowly to let it hang on his lower lip, eyes all hazy, a faint blush tainting his cheeks. Eyes screaming madness.</p><p> </p><p>He was a horny, drunken, stupidly attractive mess and it made Rin wonder if it was even safe to leave this beauty running wild looking this recklessly voluptous.</p><p>The guy is probably too drunk to remember any of this, so Rin felt a bit bold and asked "Are you a hooker? Because I can't help you here. I don't pay for this" he twirled his finger in his direction, trying to act so nonchalent.</p><p>It doesn't come as a surprise. People here come for a purpose. The arbitrary element is thrown off the window. People , exclusively old ugly rich boozers come to dirty dance, drink and shag. There's so much cash trapped between those four walls and they all pour into those gold diggers'pockets. Escorts take shelter in the v.i.p section.</p><p> </p><p>This area here, near the bar is for two kinds, new comers and hookers.</p><p>This man looked too exquisite to be a hooker though, too familiar to be new here either.</p><p> </p><p>"You know what" Rin made his way to the array of bottles on the side counter and filled a glass of dark coffee " You will drink this. It will help you sober up a little bit, which I hardly think is possible giving you state" . He turned around only to be welcomed by a perplexed look, and instead of one finger, they became two. Rin handed him the coffee, eyes down, avoiding to face the temptation. He could see the man poising his elbows on the counter from the corner of his eyes. Rin finally looked up to meet his delirious blue orbs. The pretty boy had finally removed his damn fingers, now he could look at him in the eyes without feeling exceedingly nervous.</p><p> </p><p>" you ll drink that I said" he spoke with a commanding tone, pointing to the glass. The stranger moved his hand to curl his fingers around the hand when the glass slipped off and landed all over him, drenching his white shirt.</p><p>" oh my god" Rin found himself calling for his colleague's name, who was busy mixing drinks "Nitori, get me a napkin"</p><p>He shouldn't give a hoot. This is not the first time someone made a mess in their state of inbriation. This one shouldn't be any different. He should be standing behind the counter rolling his eyes in utter disinterest right?</p><p>"I'm busy" his friend waved at him with one hand, the other was holding a pack of ice. Rin left the counter, nearly bumped into Nitori and strode to the clumsy customer. "Look at you" He dropped his eyes to his stained shirt, fixing his feature into his characterisctically indifferent look, like he didn't bother at all looking like a toddler who just spilled his milk. Rin scoffed at the lack of reaction and handed him a napkin. The brunet finally looked at him, completely oblivious to the attention he was garnering, because a couple stopped dancing for a few seconds to see what was going on. "Do you hear me?" Rin made a step forward until he could smell his manish perfume that close. He couldn't detect any potent smell of alcohol though.</p><p>What did this guy take to end up looking like a half-brained twit. Suddenly his hands flew to the last two buttons of his shirt and he flung them open, then tried to shrug it off his shoulder, as if it was even possible, but Rin tried to stop him nevertheless.</p><p>"Hey you can't get undressed here" Rin's hand itched to touch the fair skin that looked like it never saw a ray of sunshine, so creamy and pale. He reminded himself that it was a harmless motion to check his temperature', for he looked feverish, yet Rin coiled for more skin to skin contact.</p><p> </p><p>He held his wrist, shouting commandingly "What's your name?" He enunciated with exageration, as if knowing that the other man wouldn't comprehand it from first.</p><p>Now he trying to get to know him. Next thing would be asking for his address or what. Rin you need to stop this ridiculousness right now? Even Nitori was giving him a you-better-drag-your-lazy-ass-here-and-help-me-instead-of-loitering-around look.</p><p>"Haruka" the said man finally spoke, reeling forward and he dropped his both hands onto Rin's shoulders to stop his nose from bumping against his. Rin had a near scope at this Haruka who was a sight to behold from a closer scope. Definitely not a hooker. With a body like this, and a face like that, Rin would bet his left leg that this dude was an escort. And a top notch one who happened to smoke something worthy of the name drug.</p><p>"Are you an escort?" A part of him wished he was not, but Haruka nodded. He knew he was being unprofessional by interrogating a hammered customer. But the man captured his curiosity. He looked at him like he had heard this question before and puffed, a smirk finally crept into the poker face of his "what else can I be?" And he brought his body closer, leaned an inch further and almost giving Rin a mini heart-attack when he ran his hand dowm his abs ...</p><p>"Hey I'm working hard here, don't have time for this ... and I'm too poor anyways to afford any of your services? " he broke into a boisterous rant, feeling his face combusting with discomfort.</p><p> </p><p>It was like speaking to a wall, Haruka hardly reacted, he just kept blinking like it was all greek to him. and Rin didn't know who was the idiot of them two. He shouldn't be having this conversation to begin with. This propesterousness should end now.</p><p> </p><p>Rin pulled himself two steps back, preparing to go back to duty when he heard the magic six words.</p><p>"It will be free for you" and as if the other had chosen carefully those words, as if he purposefully made this announcement to flip the table in the nick of time. Rin found himself glued to his spot. Long slender fingers hovering over his shoulder, drawing a straight line, causing Rin's mind to short-circuit.</p><p>So this is how they lure loaded men into bed?</p><p>Is this a form of punishment? It had been only a month since he had started this job? He didn't wish to get fired any time soon, yet this whole thing is leading to one unfortunate outcome and he was doing nothing to prevent it.</p><p>"So?" Haruka's mouth was too seductive, too determinant for someone who didn't know what he was doing. The word coursed through his vains like a jolt of electricity and zinged straight to his dick. Rin would never do anything to this Haruka. His overly moral, needlessly oldfashioned chivalry wouldn't allow his sexually-frustrated self yo take advantage of a drunken hunk even if the latter was literally throwing himself.</p><p>"Haruka" a hand yanked the brunet away , causing him to lose a balance and almost fell back "where the fuck have you been?" the voice belonged to a taller chocolate haired guy with amber eyes. Rin find himself explaining in a defensive tone " He dropped his drink and ..."</p><p>"It is alright." He cut him out before wrapping his hand around Haruka's waist and took off. Haruka trailed back, legs barely moving, his head still angled to his direction as if trying to register his face and they disappeared into the crowd.</p><p>Rin decided he didn't like what he saw. The precarious hold, the authoritarian tone. This guy looked like he was showing off his ownership of Haruka. But why would he care? It was none of his business. He had better things to do, like cater for customers and coax generous tips out of their bulging pockets.</p><p> </p><p>All this dated back to two months ago, or more. It still managed to carve itself a niche in his memory. Out of the hundreds of faces that had crossed Rin in his workplace, only a handful stood out and Haruka was one of them. It was not like he would dream of him in his sleep, it was just a recurring thought once in every lonely while , when his mind is hacked with unsought images of things and people he never gave a hoot about, Haruka would make a small appearance, not an unwelcome one though, because his face was a mood lifter to anyone with eyes. Rin would wonder if he made it home alive that night, cuz he never showed up again in that club.</p><p>That's why the day Rin saw him walking out of the front gate of the building of his residence, he almost had a stroke. He was wearing a red hoodie and jeans ripped at the knees. Not even the cap could block his unmistakable blue eyes. He was definitely Haruka. Rin was proud he could remember his name, it was feminine and hence not so many guys had that name.</p><p>Sober Haruka seemed to be a person one should not mess with though, he had a resting bitchy face that screamed "get off of my lawn" .</p><p>It could be a facade, he hoped. A part of him supposed that his grumpiness protected a fragile soul. But he quickly got a confirmation after the withering glare with which he welcomed him when Rin knocked on his door. He came to terms with the fact that this Haruka was rude and aloof .</p><p>"<em>You shouldn't you be loitering at your door instead of mine?" </em></p><p>Who says this to someone returning their lost belonging. It was something an asshole would say' and let s say that Rin was hardly appalled by this attitude. Being judgemental sometimes prepares you mentally and physically for your next frustration. Nothing surprises you anymore because you have your prejudice to shield you against disappointing and underwhelming people.</p><p>That encounter put him off of the guy altogether. It was like slap across the face and not even that forced apology of his could make him look any better in his eyes. Rin decided he didn't like this Haruka.</p><p>The guy was gorgeous and that was all. He was one of those people that God created to show us that you can't look perfect and act likewise at the same time.</p><p>The fourth time he saw him was on a Thursday evening, he was in his balcony, dangling his upper body off the edge. Suicide attempt It flashed on his mind like a headline and Rin found himself slipping into spiderman mode. Not knowing what brought him to pull this stunt, he could have fell from a height no one can survive and met a stupid death. His legs transported him to the adjacent balcony and he landed on Haruka's body, crashing him like a wave onto the sore. He had them both sprawled on the floor, sending him to a state of semi-consciousness. The rest was too painful to recall. It was a disturbing experience.</p><p>Two days later and Rin couldn't stop thinking about him. He walked into something tragic that he was unable to kick off his mind. A man attempting to kill himself is a man reaching his nadir, and Rin had a strong hunch he knew a lot about why he did what he did, he could see through their small exchange where his dispair came from. He knew those hickeys were not lovebites, how the slighest move from his part would raise Haruka's alert level to maximum, the patrified look, the fearful expression, it was not hard to tell that Haruka's entire deamenor could only indicate one thing,:</p><p>Abuse.</p><p>Rin wanted to hug him. He never felt he needed to hug anyone so badly, knowing for sure that the other also needed nothing more in life than a fierce, motherly hug with a reassuring voice compelling him to leave out all the rest. Rin wanted to be that person that makes him feel secure for just a brief moment, only every attempt to reach out for the traumatized escort was met with unrelenting hostility.</p><p>He saved his life and the guy never showed up to thank him, which was enough of a cue for Rin to move on and not dwell on it. He did the right thing and he hardly needed a standing ovation for that, it just that he wanted to check on him.To ser how he was doing.</p><p> </p><p>After a week, Rin decided he was going to talk to the guy, because the way he was worrying over his wellfare was borderline obsessive.</p><p>He knocked on the door and waited for a few seconds before it opened, as if someone was waiting the whole day for anyone to knock. Rin was facing Haruka's quizzical scowl that Rin found himself reciprocating "well" he tapped his finger and pinched his nose "How are you Haruka?" Straight away he asked. No need to beat around the bush. He came there to know if he was doing well.</p><p>"Great, come in" the scowl morphed into a deadpan look, one that gave away nothing promising, and he stepped aside to leave enough space for Rin to walk in.</p><p>It was a good start. Well. Hopefully. He thought.</p><p>He walked aside, his eyes immediately caught the fluffy kitten sleeping on the floor and made sure not to step on its tail. "She likes to sleep here." Haru added, shutting the door with a quiet click.</p><p>Rin could sense Haruka's intense blue eyes on his back. He turned around, filling his space with unnecessarly hand movements, like checking his phone in his pocket, and smoothing his already flat jacket. He was being nervous.</p><p>Haruka's stare could freeze hell, he really expected that. But seeing it right now was quite unsettling. "Why are you standing. Sit down" Haruka beckoned to the sofa opposite as he took a chair and sat on it. Rin took a seat, not sure how to begin this conversation. It felt so awkward. He was going to sit and talk about what? Asking how he was doing and receive a one-word answer, then what.</p><p>Haruka sat opposite him, eyes digging a hole onto his forehead. He was quiet, looking so standoffish and curious. Rin didn't know it was so hard to ask a person if they were fine.</p><p>"How are you doing" he finally articulated, bringing his hands together. "Better" and he leaned on slightly, eyes marked by eager anticipation, which confused Rin a great deal.</p><p>Was he expecting a sort of confession or what?</p><p>"That's good" he felt the urge to add "I'm happy to hear that" and the deafening silence soon followed. The only sound in the room was the faint whizzing of the radiator. Rin executed again the uncomfortable silence by asking "Can I ask you a question?" The question caused the brunet a momentary hesitation before he nodded.</p><p>"Do you swim?" Rin could see the way Haruka's eyes widened a fraction of an inch. It was fascinationg how a few words can change someone's countenance from sheer boredom to genuine excitement. His eyes shone a stunning saphire, breathing life. "Yes. how do you know it?" He tilted his head.</p><p>"Last time I saw a swimsuit discarded on the floor. I figured it out immediately. Not to mention your form, wide shoulders, prominent triceps. Definitely a swimmer"</p><p>"Do you swim?" It was Rin's turn to wear an excited look, he always got so smitten when talking about his passion "Yes I do. Since forever"</p><p>Haru gave him a knowing look, like he could relate to his excitement "I swim whenever I find time to do it. It is so nice to feel the water and be free"</p><p>He had a fond look, a ghost of a smile dancing on his lips, with his hand he reached for a restless strand of hair and tucked behind his ears, the other tucked under his thigh. He looked so endearing and adorable.</p><p>"I like to swim free" he added while chewing at his button lip shyly, as if divulging something intimate, his right hand played with the hem of his shirt, eyes glued to the floor under the heaviness of his lashes, whose thickness never failed to bring Rin in awe.</p><p>Rin wanted to rip his shirt or punch a wall. Too much cuteness he couldn't take.</p><p>How could someone be an escort and look this innocent?</p><p>"That's awesome. I swim free and butterfly. It would be fun to swim against you"</p><p>The conversation was going amazing, so far. Speaking about swimming was genius. It managed to melt the icy wall that stood tall between them few moments ago. "It would be more fun to win against you" he retorted, sporting a playful smirk, to which Rin responded with an indignant look "Like hell would I allow this!"</p><p>"Iike to hear a wrong opinion" words dripping with sarcasm. Rin felt riled up by the abrupt change in atmosphere "I wanna race you now. The loser pays the other lunch"</p><p>Too bold. Rin knew his request would fall immediately flat when Haruka's scampish look sunk suddenly into a crestfallen frown, as if he remembered something sinister "I work this afternoon."</p><p>Rin didn't know how to take this. It could be an excuse if anything. Rin got a lot more than he bargained for anyways, he should be thankful that the guy let him in. He reminded himself that he came to check on him, asking him out was an added shot in the arm. "Tomorrow I'm free. I swim at Akuta, it is a few blocks far from here" Rin's beamed at hearing this "I swim at Akuta too. How come I never saw you there"</p><p>"I only swim in the evenings." "I swim in the morning. I work at night. I'm a barrista" he explained as he stood up, preparing to leave.</p><p>Haruka didn't say anything as he made his way to the door, he gave him a final once-over before saying "Tomorrow evening then?" "Tomorrow then" they exchanged a tacit aurevoir. Rin walked out, waving his hand at the shorter man, doing his best to keep his excitement under control as he said " Tomorrow"</p><p>The door shut behind him and Rin fought the urge to do a somersault.</p><p>He'd fallen under the charms of the brunet ever since his eyes landed on him at the club. And he was going to try every trick he knows tomorrow to <em>char</em>m him as well. Rin Matauoka was a sucker for challenges.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Kudos and comments is all I want for christmas</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rin looks back on the day He met Haruka</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The intensity of the pink and blue Leds were eye-piercing and they clashed in a lightening flash, red mixing with green, blue blending with yellow. It was a bold canvas of the contemporary nightlife. Lonely gay people coming from every corner of tokyo to celebrate whatever there is to celebrate. This is not a bar where people drink their sorrow away, or meet the fuck of their week. This was a haven for rich, old sugar daddies sucking the life out of pretty youth. This job paid well but not well enough to make Rin love it. It is so draining to be a barrista. To prepare the drink the customer wants with a wide forced smile, looking borderline manic. To listen to their rants and laugh at their sloppiest drug-induced compliments. It is even harder when you work in a gay bar and you are already gay and everybody knows it. The deadly combo. You are a target to all sorts of cat calling and shady offers. Having his own share with sloshed creeps , old boozers so drunk they start acting sober again and you have to put with the randomness of their orders, like someone once asked for a Vodka and Fristi. Who would drink alcohol with yogurt anyways?</p><p> </p><p>"You there" someone slurred out, bringing Rin to look up .</p><p>"Yes." He was already cringing. This guy is shit-faced, he could barely stand still. </p><p> </p><p>Pretty face though. solid 9.</p><p> </p><p>"DO YOU HEAR ME?" he yelled, rubbing his eyes. They were a distracting shade of blue. Rin's interest piqued.</p><p> </p><p>Shit he had an embarassing weakness for blue eyes.</p><p>"YES?" Rin repeated again, his eyes wandering to the half-bare chest before him. Someone was in a rush while unbuttoning this shirt because it looked like it was ripped open.</p><p> </p><p>"I cut it" the hotty spoke, sounding disoriented and unsure of his own words. Rin thought he misheard him and leaned across the counter " You were saying?" Hazy eyes flickered up to him then they dropped down as if to show the best angle of his thick, fluffy lashes -  Those lashes were so long they seemed to tangle in places and he yelled again " I cut my finger" trying to make himself audible over the strident music.</p><p> </p><p>Rin looked down to see his hand. It looked fine, not even a scratch there. "There is nothing wrong with you finger" the words seemed to resonate in the attractive stranger's head because he was frowning now, as if his mind finally reconnected with the last shred of common sense left there. Looking so caught up in his own thoughts, he scratched his jet-black hair and croaked something, still rocking back and forth before saying the most absurd line "I will lick it then" and he shoved his finger into the half shut mouth, all the way inside, eyes never leaving Rin's, whose jaw almost dropped at the intensity of the look.</p><p>The man was sucking his middle finger, never breaking eye-contact and wait. Is that a tongue piercing. Rin felt so uncomfortable, the gasp promptly sent him into a fit of coughing and he felt throttled by the viscosity of his own saliva, his cheeks burnt from the unexpected erotic action and coughing seemed to make it look even worse.</p><p>What was that about?</p><p>The blue-eyed tease removed the finger slowly to let it hang on his lower lip, eyes all hazy, a faint blush tainting his cheeks. Eyes screaming madness.</p><p> </p><p>He was a horny, drunken, stupidly attractive mess and it made Rin wonder if it was even safe to leave this beauty running wild looking this recklessly voluptous.</p><p>The guy is probably too drunk to remember any of this, so Rin felt a bit bold and asked "Are you a hooker? Because I can't help you here. I don't pay for this" he twirled his finger in his direction, trying to act so nonchalent.</p><p>It doesn't come as a surprise. People here come for a purpose. The arbitrary element is thrown off the window. People , exclusively old ugly rich boozers come to dirty dance, drink and shag. There's so much cash trapped between those four walls and they all pour into those gold diggers'pockets. Escorts take shelter in the v.i.p section.</p><p> </p><p>This area here, near the bar is for two kinds, new comers and hookers.</p><p>This man looked too exquisite to be a hooker though, too familiar to be new here either.</p><p> </p><p>"You know what" Rin made his way to the array of bottles on the side counter and filled a glass of dark coffee " You will drink this. It will help you sober up a little bit, which I hardly think is possible giving you state" . He turned around only to be welcomed by a perplexed look, and instead of one finger, they became two. Rin handed him the coffee, eyes down, avoiding to face the temptation. He could see the man poising his elbows on the counter from the corner of his eyes. Rin finally looked up to meet his delirious blue orbs. The pretty boy had finally removed his damn fingers, now he could look at him in the eyes without feeling exceedingly nervous.</p><p> </p><p>" you ll drink that I said" he spoke with a commanding tone, pointing to the glass. The stranger moved his hand to curl his fingers around the hand when the glass slipped off and landed all over him, drenching his white shirt.</p><p>" oh my god" Rin found himself calling for his colleague's name, who was busy mixing drinks "Nitori, get me a napkin"</p><p>He shouldn't give a hoot. This is not the first time someone made a mess in their state of inbriation. This one shouldn't be any different. He should be standing behind the counter rolling his eyes in utter disinterest right?</p><p>"I'm busy" his friend waved at him with one hand, the other was holding a pack of ice. Rin left the counter, nearly bumped into Nitori and strode to the clumsy customer. "Look at you" He dropped his eyes to his stained shirt, fixing his feature into his characterisctically indifferent look, like he didn't bother at all looking like a toddler who just spilled his milk. Rin scoffed at the lack of reaction and handed him a napkin. The brunet finally looked at him, completely oblivious to the attention he was garnering, because a couple stopped dancing for a few seconds to see what was going on. "Do you hear me?" Rin made a step forward until he could smell his manish perfume that close. He couldn't detect any potent smell of alcohol though.</p><p>What did this guy take to end up looking like a half-brained twit. Suddenly his hands flew to the last two buttons of his shirt and he flung them open, then tried to shrug it off his shoulder, as if it was even possible, but Rin tried to stop him nevertheless.</p><p>"Hey you can't get undressed here" Rin's hand itched to touch the fair skin that looked like it never saw a ray of sunshine, so creamy and pale. He reminded himself that it was a harmless motion to check his temperature', for he looked feverish, yet Rin coiled for more skin to skin contact.</p><p> </p><p>He held his wrist, shouting commandingly "What's your name?" He enunciated with exageration, as if knowing that the other man wouldn't comprehand it from first.</p><p>Now he trying to get to know him. Next thing would be asking for his address or what. Rin you need to stop this ridiculousness right now? Even Nitori was giving him a you-better-drag-your-lazy-ass-here-and-help-me-instead-of-loitering-around look.</p><p>"Haruka" the said man finally spoke, reeling forward and he dropped his both hands onto Rin's shoulders to stop his nose from bumping against his. Rin had a near scope at this Haruka who was a sight to behold from a closer scope. Definitely not a hooker. With a body like this, and a face like that, Rin would bet his left leg that this dude was an escort. And a top notch one who happened to smoke something worthy of the name drug.</p><p>"Are you an escort?" A part of him wished he was not, but Haruka nodded. He knew he was being unprofessional by interrogating a hammered customer. But the man captured his curiosity. He looked at him like he had heard this question before and puffed, a smirk finally crept into the poker face of his "what else can I be?" And he brought his body closer, leaned an inch further and almost giving Rin a mini heart-attack when he ran his hand dowm his abs ...</p><p>"Hey I'm working hard here, don't have time for this ... and I'm too poor anyways to afford any of your services? " he broke into a boisterous rant, feeling his face combusting with discomfort.</p><p> </p><p>It was like speaking to a wall, Haruka hardly reacted, he just kept blinking like it was all greek to him. and Rin didn't know who was the idiot of them two. He shouldn't be having this conversation to begin with. This propesterousness should end now.</p><p> </p><p>Rin pulled himself two steps back, preparing to go back to duty when he heard the magic six words.</p><p>"It will be free for you" and as if the other had chosen carefully those words, as if he purposefully made this announcement to flip the table in the nick of time. Rin found himself glued to his spot. Long slender fingers hovering over his shoulder, drawing a straight line, causing Rin's mind to short-circuit.</p><p>So this is how they lure loaded men into bed?</p><p>Is this a form of punishment? It had been only a month since he had started this job? He didn't wish to get fired any time soon, yet this whole thing is leading to one unfortunate outcome and he was doing nothing to prevent it.</p><p>"So?" Haruka's mouth was too seductive, too determinant for someone who didn't know what he was doing. The word coursed through his vains like a jolt of electricity and zinged straight to his dick. Rin would never do anything to this Haruka. His overly moral, needlessly oldfashioned chivalry wouldn't allow his sexually-frustrated self yo take advantage of a drunken hunk even if the latter was literally throwing himself.</p><p>"Haruka" a hand yanked the brunet away , causing him to lose a balance and almost fell back "where the fuck have you been?" the voice belonged to a taller chocolate haired guy with amber eyes. Rin find himself explaining in a defensive tone " He dropped his drink and ..."</p><p>"It is alright." He cut him out before wrapping his hand around Haruka's waist and took off. Haruka trailed back, legs barely moving, his head still angled to his direction as if trying to register his face and they disappeared into the crowd.</p><p>Rin decided he didn't like what he saw. The precarious hold, the authoritarian tone. This guy looked like he was showing off his ownership of Haruka. But why would he care? It was none of his business. He had better things to do, like cater for customers and coax generous tips out of their bulging pockets.</p><p> </p><p>All this dated back to two months ago, or more. It still managed to carve itself a niche in his memory. Out of the hundreds of faces that had crossed Rin in his workplace, only a handful stood out and Haruka was one of them. It was not like he would dream of him in his sleep, it was just a recurring thought once in every lonely while , when his mind is hacked with unsought images of things and people he never gave a hoot about, Haruka would make a small appearance, not an unwelcome one though, because his face was a mood lifter to anyone with eyes. Rin would wonder if he made it home alive that night, cuz he never showed up again in that club.</p><p>That's why the day Rin saw him walking out of the front gate of the building of his residence, he almost had a stroke. He was wearing a red hoodie and jeans ripped at the knees. Not even the cap could block his unmistakable blue eyes. He was definitely Haruka. Rin was proud he could remember his name, it was feminine and hence not so many guys had that name.</p><p>Sober Haruka seemed to be a person one should not mess with though, he had a resting bitchy face that screamed "get off of my lawn" .</p><p>It could be a facade, he hoped. A part of him supposed that his grumpiness protected a fragile soul. But he quickly got a confirmation after the withering glare with which he welcomed him when Rin knocked on his door. He came to terms with the fact that this Haruka was rude and aloof .</p><p>"<em>You shouldn't you be loitering at your door instead of mine?" </em></p><p>Who says this to someone returning their lost belonging. It was something an asshole would say' and let s say that Rin was hardly appalled by this attitude. Being judgemental sometimes prepares you mentally and physically for your next frustration. Nothing surprises you anymore because you have your prejudice to shield you against disappointing and underwhelming people. That encounter put him off of the guy altogether. It was like slap across the face and not even that forced apology of his could make him look any better in his eyes. Rin decided he didn't like this Haruka.</p><p>The guy was gorgeous and that was all. He was one of those people that God created to show us that you can't look perfect and act likewise at the same time.</p><p>The fourth time he saw him was on a Thursday evening,</p><p>He was in his balcony, dangling his upper body off the edge.</p><p>Suicide attempt It flashed on his mind like a headline and Rin found himself slipping into spiderman mode. Not knowing what brought him to pull this stunt, he could have fell from a height no one can survive and met a stupid death. His legs transported him to the adjacent balcony and he landed on Haruka's body, crashing him like a wave onto the sore. He had them both sprawled on the floor, sending him to a state of semi-consciousness.</p><p>The rest was too painful to recall. It was a disturbing experience.</p><p>Two days later and Rin couldn't stop thinking about him. He walked into something tragic that he was unable to kick off his mind. A man attempting to kill himself is a man reaching his nadir, and Rin had a strong hunch he knew a lot about why he did what he did, he could see through their small exchange where his dispair came from. He knew those hickeys were not lovebites, how the slighest move from his part would raise Haruka's alert level to maximum, the patrified look, the fearful expression, it was not hard to tell that Haruka's entire deamenor could only indicate one thing:</p><p> </p><p>Abuse.</p><p>Rin wanted to hug him. He never felt he needed to hug someone so badly, knowing for sure that the other also needed nothing more in life than a fierce, motherly hug with a reassuring voice compelling him to leave out all the rest.</p><p>Rin wanted to be that person that makes him feel secure for just a brief moment, only every attempt to reach out for the traumatized escort was met with unrelenting hostility.</p><p>He saved his life and the guy never showed up to thank him, which was enough of a cue for Rin to move on and not dwell on it. He did the right thing and he hardly needed a standing ovation for that, it just that he wanted to check on him.To see how he was doing.</p><p> </p><p>After a week, Rin decided he was going to talk to the guy, because the way he was worrying over his wellfare was borderline obsessive. He knocked on the door and waited for a few seconds before it opened, as if someone was waiting the whole day for anyone to knock. Rin was facing Haruka's quizzical scowl that Rin found himself reciprocating</p><p> </p><p>"Hi" he tapped his finger and pinched his nose "How are you Haruka?"</p><p>Straight away he asked. No need to beat around the bush. He came there to know if he was doing well.</p><p>"Great, come in" the scowl morphed into a deadpan look, one that gave away nothing promising, and he stepped aside to leave enough space for Rin to walk in. It was a good start. Well. Hopefully. He thought.</p><p>He walked aside, his eyes immediately caught the fluffy kitten sleeping on the floor and made sure not to step on its tail. "She likes to sleep here." Haru added, shutting the door with a quiet click. Rin could sense Haruka's intense blue eyes on his back. He turned around, filling his space with unnecessarly hand movements, like checking his phone in his pocket, and smoothing his already flat jacket. He was definitely nervous.</p><p> </p><p>Haruka's stare could freeze hell, he really expected that. But seeing it right now was quite unsettling. "Why are you standing. Sit down" Haruka beckoned to the sofa opposite as he took a chair and sat on it. Rin took a seat, not sure how to begin this conversation. It felt so awkward. He was going to sit and talk about what? Asking how he was doing and receive a one-word answer, then what.</p><p>Haruka sat opposite him, eyes digging a hole onto his forehead. He was quiet, looking so standoffish and curious. Rin didn't know it was so hard to ask a person if they were fine. "How are you doing" he finally articulated, bringing his hands together.</p><p>"Better" and he leaned on slightly, eyes marked by eager anticipation, which confused Rin a great deal. Was he expecting a sort of confession or what?</p><p>"That's good" he felt the urge to add "I'm happy for that" and the deafening silence soon followed.</p><p>The only sound in the room was the faint whizzing of the radiator. Rin executed again the uncomfortable silence by asking "Can I ask you a question?" The question caused the brunet a momentary hesitation before he nodded yes.</p><p>"Do you swim?" Rin could see the way his eyes widened a fraction of an inch. It was fascinationg how a few words can change someone's countenance from sheer boredom to genuine excitement. His eyes shone a stunning saphire, breathing life. "Yes how do you know it?" He tilted his head.</p><p>"Last time I saw a swimsuit discarded on the floor. I figured it out immediately. Not to mention your form, wide shoulders, prominent triceps. Definitely a swimmer"</p><p>"Do you swim?" It was Rin's turn to wear an excited look, he always got so smitten when talking about his passion "Yes I do. Since forever" Haru gave him a knowing look, like he could relate to his excitement "I swim whenever I find time to do it. It is so nice to feel the water and be free" He had a fond look, a ghost of a smile dancing on his lips, with his hand he reached for a restless strand of hair and tucked behind his ears, the other tucked under his thigh. He looked so endearing and adorable.</p><p>"I like to swim free" he added while chewing at his button lip shyly, as if divulging something intimate, his right hand played with the hem of his shirt, eyes glued to the floor under the heaviness of his lashes, whose thickness never failed to bring Rin in awe.</p><p>Rin wanted to rip his shirt or punch a wall. Too much cuteness he couldn't take.</p><p>How could someone be an escort and look this innocent? "That's awesome. I swim free and butterfly. It would be fun to swim against you" The conversation was going amazing, so far. Speaking about swimming was genius. It managed to melt the icy wall that stood tall between them few moments ago.</p><p>"It would be more fun to win against you" he retorted, sporting a playful smirk, to which Rin responded with an indignant look "Like hell would I allow this!"</p><p>"I'd enjoy hearing a wrong opinion" words dripping with sarcasm. Rin felt riled up by the abrupt change in atmosphere</p><p>"I wanna race you now. The loser pays the other lunch"</p><p>Too bold. Rin knew his request would fall immediately flat when Haruka's scampish look sunk suddenly into a crestfallen frown, as if he remembered something sinister "I work this afternoon."</p><p>Rin didn't know how to take this. It could be an excuse if anything. Rin got a lot more than he bargained for anyways, he should be thankful that the guy let him in. He reminded himself that he came to check on him, asking him out was an added shot in the arm.</p><p>"Tomorrow I'm free. I swim at Akuta, it is a few blocks far from here" Rin's beamed at hearing this.</p><p>"I swim at Akuta too. How come I never saw you there"</p><p>"I only swim in the evenings."</p><p>"I swim in the morning. I work at night. I'm a barrista" he explained as he stood up, preparing to leave. Haruka didn't say anything as he made his way to the door, he gave him a final once-over before saying</p><p>"Tomorrow evening then?"</p><p>"Tomorrow then" they exchanged a tacit aurevoir. Rin walked out, waving his hand at the shorter man, doing his best to keep his excitement under control as he said " Tomorrow"</p><p>The door shut behind him and Rin fought the urge to do a somersault.</p><p>He'd fallen under the charms of the brunet ever since his eyes landed on him at the club. And he was going to try every trick he knows tomorrow to <em>char</em>m him as well. Rin Matauoka was a sucker for challenges.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Kudos and comments r all i want for christmas</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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